Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Comic Fiesta 2013

Well, this is admittedly late for a post-event... post, but hey would you look at that, I haven't written anything for Comic Fiesta for last year...

So doubling as a year end post, lets recap what happened at the event shall we? Not really a review of the event per se, more of some personal rambling on recollection. You know what to expect.

Monday, December 9, 2013

Kolumpo [movie]

The other day I was about to watch the second installment of The Hunger Games movie - after having heard a few good review of it from a few people that I know - but as luck would have it, the seats were full and I was not ready to wait for a long time for the next one (which would be 3 hours away). Not wanting to waste my trip, I decided to try and catch a local movie which had been generating some antipication a few days before its release: Kolumpo (it was a few day after its premiere when I watched it).

There are a few points I wanted to rant about local movie, and they come about before the movie even started - but I'll save it for later.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Kantai Collection: what the hell is up with it?!

By now a lot of people are playing (or at least aware of) Kantai Collection that it begs the question of, 'who else haven't played Kantai Collection yet?'.

And fortunately (or unfortunately?) I'm not in those group.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013


Lately I've been going on a lot rambling on some personal stuff that's been going in my mind, so I'd figured it's time for a bit of fresh air and talk about something else. 

I've been listening to Tool very recently, after having only stop to listen to their first album, Undertow, a long time ago, and it didn't really left too much impression on me. I have recently hunted for the rest of their albums, and I must say that I should have checked their subsequent earlier: I love their style of blending progressive rock/metal, alternative metal and psychedelia. It's very heavy and hypnotizing and dark, brought forward by their style of playing and vocal. I particularly liked the drumming, there's that sort of... tribal drumming feel, I suppose you could call it, on some of their songs.

Listening to their music I can see how modern alternative metal acts would get their influence from (e.g. Korn, Deftones, System Of A Down). I'm sure listeners of progressive type of music would be familiar with this band, but in case you haven't, this is something of a must listen! 

This is probably my favourite song off them at the moment. Watch how they manage to perform this live!

Monday, November 4, 2013

Stand on your own feet

It seems that most of us wishes to grow wings. And by wings, I don't mean wings in the literal sense.

Most of us always complain about our life, as if we have no control over it. We are forever hoping for something to take us out from our misery.

A different job. Living in a different neighbourhood. Someone else to come into our life. A change of our personality. Waiting for a life changing event. We want these to just sprout out, propel us to a bright future - to bring us out from the mundane life.

We are blinded by the belief that someday, we are going to grow wings and fly out from whatever it is in our life that is tying us down.

No, we keep forgetting this: that we always have the choice to walk to where we want to be. We keep forgetting how we have our own two feet that would carry us out, should we decide to make that decisive step.

It's time to stop waiting for those wings to grow, and start walking your own path.

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Complaining about this and that

I find it funny how most of us complain with our life, on our inadequacies and weakness and misfortune and so many other things... as if we have no control over it.

We complained how terrible our work is; or it could be that we complain how we feel inadequate with what we have; or we could be complaining about other people being assholes; or we could be complaining on things which in a great scheme of thing truly doesn't matter; or we could be complaining about how terrible we are as a human being, doomed to stuck with our condition forever.

We complain about our life, treating it as if we are watching a movie, unable to do anything to change it.






We are the social media generation where we must talk, talk, talk. We don't get much time to sit down with our own thoughts, and think. Our connection made us to compare ourselves with each other even more and more, feeling terrible about ourselves.

It's no wonder why we get depressed easily.

We just complain, complain, complain. We complain about the littlest things. We complain about the things which we can't control. We complain about things which we have power to control. We complain about our life, as if we have no control over it.

And we are waiting to hit rock bottom until we really change. Until it's too late.

I would really like for us to really think about it - REALLY think about our own life. On whether we truly have no control over our life. Or whether we're just too comfortable with our misery. Too lazy. It's much easier to complain instead of getting things done.

If we look back at the things that we said - all the complains that we dished out - we're going to start to notice something.

We're going to notice that all that complaining didn't really get anything done. We give them out, in the hope that other would pay attention to us. That we would feel a sense of relief that we have said our piece of mind. And we want the world to change to our own liking - but we don't want to change ourselves.

The noise that the world projects - telling me to compare myself with others, to feel inadequate, to complain about my life, to try and fill my emptiness with things I don't need - is no match for the voice in my head: it's still figuring out just where I stand in the world, just how significant I am in the overall grand scheme of thing.

And all that talk in my head have exhausted me from the need to complain.

There are some things which we can't change. If we are ever to compare ourselves with others, we're certainly not going to come out feeling better about ourselves. There are things which it's just not worth the effort to be pissed off.

If I have the time to complain about my life, then I would certainly have time to try and do something about it. The most profound sense of enlightenment that I have achieved, now, is the realization how I am very much responsible for my own life.

It would mean I don't get to put the blame on others, but it also fill me with the burning realization that life is not an experience that just went pass - but something which I must create, by my own hands.

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

The biggest waste of our time

I had not too long ago made the claim that Facebook is the biggest waste of our time... until I realize it's not so much the social media itself, but it's our own self that make it as such.

I know a few people who have seemingly drop out of their usual circle of people, having their mind set on bigger things in life. Sure some of them are pretty antagonistic towards others, with some being quick to be described simply as being assholes. Their own behaviour is something that it is up to them to decide how it'll benefit or hurt them, but their decision to change is something that most have indeed failed to take notice.

And I see a lot of people having a false sense of self-worth online. It is as if they really show their shallowness and idiocy there, and it gets worse when they join up with like minded people. I find it funny how despite the various possibilities offered in expanding their minds and knowledge by connecting with the rest of the world, most seems to spiral downward into total mindlessness and foolishness, preferring to stick to their old mindset, being narrow minded, thinking they are that important to everyone else.

Which is why I can see how some of them decide to really distance themselves from some circle of people. Because really, as someone has put it - albeit in much direct and perhaps crude word - his job is not to please others. And it's true, really - why should we let ourselves be held back trying to be accepted by these imaginary circles of people which we created in our mind?

We should really learn to take control of our lives. And we can start doing that by trying to filter out all these noises - unnecessary as they are - that we get here on social media, Facebook inclusive. Because too many people are all just talk, or are just complaining, that you find it easy to dance around the same beat and go on complaining without any real action. There's just so much you can do through socializing, we forget that we have your whole life ahead of you.

And why are we acting as if our life resolve around these social media? Why is it that we would spend the bulk of our time 'socializing' that we forget the bigger thing: One day, we're going to die.

So it's puzzling why we have to waste so much time entertaining all those people who we don't really care.

Friday, October 18, 2013

Being offended

Even with your best intention; even if you worded your words with careful thought; even if you said it without meaning any harm - the fact is, some people would certainly be offended.

There are of course people who seemingly talk nonsense, in what appears to be an attempt to offend others. They try to come up with some stupid or tasteless joke... which they might not realize doesn't sit well with others, and how some might find them offensive.

The point with those two situation is this: you certainly can't stop people from saying things which you might find offensive. Notice how I emphasis on the you part? I think it's pretty telling, judging from how we would say 'I am offended!' rather than 'your words are offensive!' (And even if it's the latter, to whom? To you, that's who!).

So am I saying that it's pointless in trying to fight to stop people from saying offensive things? Not really, just because being offended is a personal thing, it doesn't give license for you to shoot your mouth off. What we could do though, is choose the way to how we react to what others say. We have a choice in that - whereas we can't control the words which come out of others.

On a similar note, here's a post on how we get the concept of being offended wrong (Cracked article? No surprise there mate)

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Foreground Eclipse and 回路-kairo-: an overview

I've seen a few comments already on the comparison between these two circles. Foreground Eclipse is definitely more well known compared to 回路-kairo-, with the latter usually tauted as being an alternative for those who have been listening to FE.

Friday, October 11, 2013

How are you spending?

Sometimes you really have to stop and look back at how you spend your money, and just think:

How does your spending goes to make you a better person? 

Or is it all merely following others, in perhaps an attempt of trying to impress others?

I can't help that most of us doesn't really think of how we should rather spend in making our life better, instead of trying to play 'catch up' or impressing others. We might not admit it openly, but deep down there's just that urge to get acknowledged by others.

We are fools.

Gin no Saji 

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Why I view Facebook as a big waste of time

The reason why I decided to really cut down on Facebook recently is because I realize how it is a big waste of my time.

Because truthfully, I realize that most people would really put up contents there more for the socializing aspect (which is why they call it social media in the first place, innit?). It's a really vicious cycle: any content we put up (post, picture, events) would inevitably get some sort of recognition (comments, like, share) which could really get to your head in terms of instant gratification.

And the fact that it is much more longer lasting and easier to access compared to, say, Twitter - which is more of a real time communication rather than the long lasting one on Facebook... but I'm getting ahead of myself here - means whatever stupidity you've mindlessly put up are going to be there to state back at you.

I'm not saying it's inherently bad - it's just that I personally have some issue with how people use the site. I view it as a big waste of time for us - especially if we're out to get some kind of 'recognition', whatever form it is. I'm specifically referring to those who abuse the media to drone on and on purely out of attention grabbing. It is completely understandable for young people, but when you have other priorities with life - well you don't have time to put up with those, man.

And that is the keyword to really explain why I decided that it's a waste of time: that I have other priorities in life to be bogged down with those things. And that, really applies to others who would decide to cut their time off social media. It might seem unthinkable to those who spend their time exclusively at the site, but that's okay. Everyone have different priority, right? And if they decide to spend most of their time there, then that is their choice for them to deal with the consequences.

I'd have to say, for me one aspect about the site that I'm alright with is how easy it is to connect with others - seeing as practically everyone uses it. It is convenient, put it that way.The problem is when you're overwhelmed by the most mundane and even downright annoying rambling and rants from some people who truthfully, you don't really care about.

So of course we have the choice to either completely cut down our 'friends' list (another misgiving I have with the feature of the site), or you could just simply cut down your time spend there. Some people might think, 'what would I do without opening Facebook?', or 'how do I get myself out of Facebook?'

Simple: you just do it, and no excuse. Maybe one day we realize our lives doesn't have to seem so meaningless unless if we make itself known.


Monday, October 7, 2013

The existensialist librarian

Anxiety may be compared with dizziness. He whose eye happens to look down the yawning abyss becomes dizzy. But what is the reason for this? It is just as much in his own eye as in the abyss, for suppose he had not looked down. Hence, anxiety is the dizziness of freedom, which emerges when the spirit wants to posit the synthesis and freedom looks down into its own possibility, laying hold of finiteness to support itself. Freedom succumbs to dizziness. Further than this, psychology cannot and will not go. In that very moment everything is changed, and freedom, when it again rises, sees that it is guilty. Between these two moments lies the leap, which no science has explained and which no science can explain. He who becomes guilty in anxiety becomes as ambiguously guilty as it is possible to become.

The Concept Of Anxiety, Søren Kierkegaard 

On hindsight, I felt that I've been through several existensialist situations so far in my life: the first clear instance which I could remember is when I was talking with someone who claimed he had a terrible depression and mental condition, on the sensation of wanting to throw yourself away when standing on top of a building - not to realize that a philosopher in 1844 had used this analogy to describe the choice and the anxiety of having the freedom to control your life.

The idea certainly interested me, how we are actually very much responsible with how we shape our life - and the fear and anxiety of being given the freedom, which would perhaps be why most would no sooner conform to the values held by the masses.

The first time I've came across the term 'existensialism' is actually a preface in a local comic - as well as 'nihilism' - alongside the mentioning of books such as Fight Club and Catcher In The Rye, but I haven't really thought much of it at the time. I've since actually stumble across several existensialist situation, although I have never realize how these could be tied down to the rather complex sounding term that is existensialism: most of these are several anxious moments I faced when I had reached critical decision making moments, as well as several cases which have involved death or accidents. The first time I've ever heard someone using that word in a conversation is when I had a discussion with one of my cousin on some topics on life.

What I understand from the philosophy of existensialism is how we are all responsible for our decisions in life - and how we must strive to give meaning to what seems a meaningless life (for we are to die eventually). It's quite a central philosophy that I've subscribed to for quite a while without me realizing it - and it is from the revisiting and further understanding that I've decided to embrace that notion and reflect that in this blog, marrying the philosophical term with Patchouli Knowledge, the introverted intellectual librarian. It just felt very fitting, not to mention reflecting the recent changes and resolves which have taken place.

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal: teaching

We are responsible for our life

It is tempting - and it does have a certain truth to it - how our environments play a big part in shaping who we are today.

Parents, family, upbringing... home and childhood. The education system: teachers and lecturers and peers. The working environment. Our government. Belief and philosophy. The masses. All certainly contribute in shaping the way we are today.

But does that make it a valid reason to blame them for who we are today? Because when you realize that you want to change - the moment you realize you should take control of your life: are you going to keep on holding on to these factors, these people and environment; or are you going to blame them for shaping the way you are today?

If people would laugh when you say 'you know, my mum taught me not to...', then why do I see people still putting the blame on, say, the parents for letting them become who they are today?

Too many people are too sentimental, emotional, and just lazy to accept the fact that they can change the way they are TODAY. What was done, was done - you certainly can't change that, so it's time to accept the things that happened and actually start doing something with your life.

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Random rambling in a series of tweet: on depression, crossplaying, Facebook, life

A series of tweets that has evolved from one thing to another. I figured it was slightly interesting to warrant a post for it.

Life is neither beautiful nor ugly. But if you decided to take away your life, then that's the end of it.  I know you can't beat the sense into depressed people just like that. At the very least though, you could get them to talk to you.

Too many people venting out their depression online that they forget to actually talk to someone about it.

Actually I think a lot of people didn't really know of the hardship nonomy had to go through to reach where he is now. I mean when I was ignorant I thought that he had it easy having been born with the right stuff for crossplaying and everything.  But apparently he had thought of giving up a few times, and even on his level he still get discriminated by others.

It was after that that I thought, those who wanted to venture into crossplaying CAN actually work on their part to improve. Sure the early works might look terrible, sure you're gonna hear some not so nice words from others.  But if you're serious on improving (and not in because of anything other than a hobby) then you'll pull through.

I've seen some who have stuck through and improved over time. I'm certainly impressed with their dedication and the will to learn.  It'd be nice if the so-so ones would stick around to improve rather than doing a half hearted work (and then putting themselves down)

But hey, what I was rambling just now could easily be applied to any other hobby or work you could care to name.  Too many people not passionate enough in what they do, thinking they would make it big on their first go.

Instead of feeling like shit over your life, maybe it's time for you to stop and ask yourself, 'what do I really want to do with my life?'  No guarantee that you'll be extremely successful at that, but at least you know that it's what you really want to do.

I would thus like to encourage more people to plug off for a while off the 'net and travel more - get to know ourselves better.  Travelling - especially alone - is good in pushing you off your comfort zone, makes you see the world more, learn more about yourself.  Sitting there in front of Facebook and complaining about your life and hanging about people who aren't inspired won't do you much good.

So really, just try to stop complaining so much and start asking questions and thinking. Get yourself out of that comfort zone!  It's your life, man, and you have a choice on what you make it to be.

So why should you resolve it around Facebook?

Monday, September 16, 2013

Kuala Lumpur International Jazz Festival 2013

And now something much closer to home: last weekend saw the second installation of Kuala Lumpur International Jazz Festival, and this time they've managed to secure the venue right here at Universiti Malaya.

I always felt that jazz is something that is quite hard to be appreciated by the masses, so mad props to the organizer for managing to gather all the jazz fans and performers under one roof - it definitely shows that there's an eager crowd for the music. Special thanks to one of my friend who had invited me along to the festival: it was a great exposure to all those jazz acts - hopefully I'll be able to join any future events from these guys!

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Jrock no Tamashii 4

Slightly late post-gig review.

I honestly did not really planned on coming for the fourth installment of the annual gathering of jrock fans and performers, but a brief trip down the memory lane had me thinking, 'man, I'd really like to experience the excitement again!'

So this marked my third time to the gig, after the one last year and the year before that. And as before, I was certainly not disappointed with the performance.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Loving someone

There is apparently a strong notion that it's only when you love someone that you are 'complete'.

This is certainly disturbing, as I see how some people let themselves become emotional hostages due to the notion on what love should be.

Is it any wonder why some people lamented how their have a lot of lovers, where they were either abused or they let themselves being walked over by the other side? I keep wondering if they really felt that they deserved to be treated like that whenever they are subjected to such treatments.

'I'm a worthless piece of trash that is not worth loving'

See, THAT'S your problem. The more you bring up the message that you don't deserve loving, then I'm certainly not surprised when other walk all over you. How can others love you if you don't love yourself?

Perhaps some people felt that the presence of other's company will make them better. That when others love them, then only then will they start loving themselves. That is a big misconception, and it seems that a lot are getting the concept of love backward.

And perhaps things are made worse when the subject of possession seems to be what people would associate with love. That truly everything is measured in material terms - even love - where you must stake your claim, be obsessed, and have to make a point to the rest of the world of your 'possession'.

It's natural to fall in love, yes. But I really have a big issue with just how some of us put ourselves being unhappy for falling in love under these ridiculous concept.

We always have a choice in our life, and that includes your love life. And as long as you don't love yourself, then I don't think it's reasonable to expect others to do that for you.

Mokou, Patchouli, Yuuka: a narration

Once, I was very much into Fujiwara no Mokou, and that was because of how I viewed myself back then.

Monday, September 9, 2013

My resolution

Every day should be another day where you learn something.

Each passing day are experiences to your life's story. Each moment is precious.

Let me thus make a resolution: to learn something every day, 'til the day I die

Ahmad Faiz

An overview on Singaporean Touhou fans from a Malaysian perspective

This was not the first time Malaysia and Singapore have events so close together, with C2AGE and Cosfest occuring in such close proximity between each other a few months ago (which I've opted for the latter, seeing as I couldn't make it for the first one).

With Animangaki taking place just the week before Singapore's STGCC, it might be crazy to think of even going to another event, much less one a few hundred kilometres down south. But that's what a few of us did, and it's mainly for one reason:

TAM is a pretty humble person, I like him. And his playing is of course great. Nothing beat seeing the real thing in the flesh, hey!

Saturday, September 7, 2013

The ol' Malay mentality

Hasan memberi contoh semasa negara suatu masa dahulu mahu melaksanakan Pengajaran dan Pembelajaran Sains dan Matematik dalam Bahasa Inggeris (PPSMI), pelajar Melayulah yang ketinggalan dalam keputusan peperiksaaan terutamanya mereka yang tinggal di kawasan pedalaman.

Beliau menggesa kerajaan mengkaji semula dasar tersebut kerana Bahasa Inggeris bukanlah bahasa pertuturan majoriti kaum Melayu serta dasar tersebut, katanya, akan menghancurkan anak Melayu.

You know, there's this one old mentality among the Malays that I'm ashamed of: that of being in a comfort level. I suspect this stems back from post-Independence, when the government were giving out all those incentive in developing the less fortunate and the ones in the rural areas. But fast forward 50 years later, and we still seem to be in that comfort zone: that we will be left behind other races, that we should continue to be where we are, that we needed help from the government. That if we we to face challenge of the ever-changing world, we will lose out.

They say the Malay will lose out if the requirement to pass English in SPM were to be implemented. And you know why they have this kind of thinking? It's because of two things:

1) The education system quality in teaching the language is terrible

2) The mentality among some Malays that English is difficult, and how they're better off sticking with Bahasa Melayu

There's something terribly wrong here if we still have this kind of mentality. And it's worse when you get people like him who continue to perpetuate this mindset. It's been 50 plus years man; how long do you all plan to stay in your comfort zone?

Friday, September 6, 2013

Product placement - what we need, what we want

I have a moment of epiphany as I'm eating one nutella brand knockoff: that for a much cheaper price I could get something good to put on my bread...

And then I've stumbled upon a relatively unknown guitar brand which had me thinking, 'hey, this is as good as the 'real' thing...'

But then I thought further into it: are branding really all it ought to be?

Is it a matter of want vs need? Do we really want it? Do we really need it? Why do these different brand offer the same deal at different pricing?

On one case it's food, on another one it's on entertainment/art. But the same question arise: is the 'imitation' no better than the 'real' deal?

Does it matter if our wants are ever fleeting?

Are we buying certain brands because they are what we WANT, or is it entirely out of NEED? For some, they might have no choice for either.

So all this complain about branding is just ridiculous for me, especially when it comes to things we can live without.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Tanda Putera

I rarely watched movies in cinemas, and the times that I do I rarely include Malay movies in my to-watch list (the last one that I did was KIL, which I thought was great).

But the recently controversional Tanda Putera had really piqued up my interest. Judging from the review (or rather lack of it) I was curious to see just how bad the movie is, and if I could find any merit out of the whole thing. After all, don't judge something until you see every side of the story is one of my philosophy in judging (the second one is simply: do not judge at all).

And I'm feeling a need to be judgmental with the movie, so I gave it a watching anyway.

To sum up in simple words: the movie was boring.

Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Managing your Facebook 'friends': JUST SAY NO

I've recently met someone who took a rather radical step: he removed a huge chunk of people from his Facebook's friends list, as well as removing himself from a few groups.

The action have gotten some pretty angry reaction from the removee ('why does this guy remove me for no reason?' 'I've never liken that guy anyway!' 'what an asshole!'), but that've gotten me thinking: are we putting too much value in Facebook 'friends' that it's easy to fall into the trap of being in an imaginary abusive 'friendship?'.


I think it's highly deceiving to list your contacts as 'friends': maybe words like 'contacts' or 'acquaintance' are more accurate in designating some of those people. But does that necessarily mean 'friendship' on Facebook is much shallower than, say, a 'real' friendship?

I don't think we have to really be cold turkey and dismiss most of the people in our list as being 'not real' friends. For me essentially the core of Facebook is for you to connect with people - so for some that might include adding a bunch of people in the hope of trying to get to know them better...

But that does seem like a misguided effort. After all, there's only so much people you can truly give away your time to know what they've been up doing with their everyday life (aka people you truly give a shit about) isn't it? Now try and extrapolate that by imagining how much you might mean to the other guy (aka people that give a shit about you).

And that I believe is a good start in managing a seemingly large number of people in your list.

Do I truly want to spend my time listening to what this other person is doing in his/her life?

Do I really want to share what I feel with this other person?

Are they going to notice if I removed them off the list?

And the biggest reason for you to really consider removing them: is this person's online presence really bothers me?

If so, know that you always have a choice:


Interestingly the person I mentioned earlier have said that the action helped him to stick with the people he truly give a shit about, and vice versa - his reasoning was that if they truly wanted to connect with him and all that, then they'd have no problem in asking again to connect. Those that were angry and harbour a sort of grudge would be the one at loss, rather than him - and that is something I would agree.

So at the end of the day, take your Facebook 'friends' with a large pinches of salts. And remember, you always have choice to pick who are the ones in your list - or having fail that, there's always the option of managing what you see from them. We always have a choice in having less drama and horseshit.


Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Animangaki 2013 Touhou section: hope and gratitude for the local Touhou fans

Last weekend marks the third year of the Touhou section of Animangaki (this year being called as Animangaki Touhou Festival, with the second one being refered to as Touhou GenTouShou). As someone who was involved in helping for all the three consecutive years, I’d like to give a short review and critique on the Touhou section. This post is meant not only for this year’s post-event review, but hopefully as a review for any future activity among the local Touhou group over here.

Excuse for lack of picture for this year's event

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Animangaki 2013: Tauhu [P]rojak

This year’s Animangaki saw the first hopeful inception of our circle, Tauhu [P]rojak, where along with one artbook and one novel released under the circle name saw the distribution of other doujin merchandise (badges, bookmarks, cookies) of other individual that chip in the booth under our circle.

Perhaps the time is right to properly introduce ourselves:

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Early morning tweet: on life and death

I found these series of tweet from someone who I've been following, I thought it was pretty thoughtful. So here we go: 

Think about it, your life is insignificant. You're just a tiny bacteria in a tiny pale blue dot. And that tiny bacteria is very complex.

In a bigger picture, million years ago, the earth is formed, and the creation of the moon. And as time passes by, civilization rises

How significant your lives are is determined on how you contribute and how it affects your future, both famous or INFAMOUS to be history

And these people became part of human lives for the next coming generations, simply as a lesson to be learnt for the future

And gradually we evolved, in both good or bad ways, but still, evolution moves not by benefits.

As gradually human civilization crosses out of the planet to interstellar, more history gets forgotten. Only significant remains.

The significant ones are either uplifting ot tragic, so whomever in the comfort zone, you're just normal. you're nothing. But still a choice

But that doesnt say the comfort zone people has no place, its just sideswiped, still they have a role generating the next generation.

And by random in a family, a child was born to be either some guy or a significant someone. And it depends on how the environment affects it

Depedant on education and how it thinks, history plays a role to shape an individual to strive forward on decisions of the next generation

It repeats so and on. And there are people who decide to see the world born, eat people, kill people, the ones that decided to FUCK IT

A sense dangerous morality, still its a choice but its very infectious and even fools can be deceived. Hence we have religion.

The prupose of religion, the words of god, they are ORDERS. These are the ruling to bring humanity into order or else there is chaos

Whichever the religion, they have rules to abide to set themselves into order. Humans in the beginning were confused n fear, but faith...

Faith is what keeps them on the line, giving them hope to survive and confidence.

Most of the righteous ones believe in staying away from immorality. Its to ensure no one gets hurt and no chaos amongst others

But gradually now humans overlook orders in order to be different and attraction, hence the rise of immorality.

Civilization is growing at rapid pace where faith and hope is put to a higher level of challenge until human forgot their main role on earth

So looking back, at your job, punching papers, feed the kids, sit at home. And then what?

The complexity of human understanding breaks apart into smaller pieces of complexity, its like multiple flakes of complex to tinker with

And the main goal for human beings are left to desires and seek of pleasure and happiness which... not everyone will surely get.

A variable and multiple set of different humans with different characteristics are left out for interaction. Like experiment, we are unsure

Humans were left like 'what and how' in interaction. And we have parents to guide us on how do we interact with one another.

And all this lessons came from generation and generation of our ancestors, which were ones all came from the same place and one family.

We have a guidebook, whichever written by god. A guidebook to live and respect one another.

If you're atheist, its ok, believe what you believe, but do take liberty on what's beneficial and respect one another.

But the goal of desires and satisfaction can lead to ridiculous outrageous goals. A vision of creating an ideal civilization.

Sometimes racially based because we all had trouble understanding one another, so one got attached to a group and it becames a large club

Then it became a tug of war between teams, but on a larger scale, we have war. Gung ho ing your own team and all for your ideal vision

Whatever you play in your orientation camp is actually a smaller scale human interaction. Also, other than war, we have voting.

A civilized manner of agreement for vision decision. Competing using votes of population to agree on a certain ideology.

But ideology can be selfish instead of understand a global scale means. One can have a country full of beautiful people n one race based

Then they have genocide. Preventing a generation means to strive forward onto the next generation.

With multiple deaths as a statistic, a large chunk of potential individuals got thrown to the gutter, in a tragic common story.

But humans still evolved taking liberty with the lesson. But do they learnt, a mixed bag. We still have understanding humans n we have fools

And we need them both to balance out one another. Its inevetible, you can't wish for constant harmony or constant chaos. It can be boring

So we have disasters and climate control... to interact with humanity, and see results.

Thinking through, we're like experimental guinea pigs with complex understanding.

What will the future of humanity be? Weaker? Stronger? Smarter? More understanding? One may think one of the answer

But in a bigger picture, its all of it. You just didn't cover the whole continent. Not everyone is glued to the screen n tweet shit like us

There seems to be equal balance of every aspect. With this in mind, you can see where this is going. Not much to worry.

You will still have smart people, idiots, strong, weak, beautiful, ugly, the variable is all there. But you can't choose. You are chosen

No point of being jelly on one thing or another. You're just a pathethic amoeba trying to fuck and die happily. Still the ending is death

But in return you may give life to another, or inspire others, or both,

Your goal to think is your contribution to the world and future generation. So what kind of ideology shit you want to share?

I am done with this vessel. Im sure this poor soul will woke up wondering what the fuck is he smoking.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Cosplay 'dramas': What's the big deal? (Part II)

So in the last entry I mentioned on a few points which I figured trigger the whole chain reaction of 'dramas' that is so common nowadays in our cosplay community: There's the part about confidence, the misguided chase for fame, the unnecessary attention seeking, and the unacceptance how some people change (more of a personal relationship between people really).

Now, let's further look at some other possible reasons for the whole deal behind these 'dramas', eh?

Cosplay 'dramas': What's the big deal? (Part I)

First of all, you might want read these few articles in which I share their sentiments on some issues that they have with cosplaying. And they make a better point than I could too on other aspect that I've missed in this entry; check them out:

Emahgerd cosplay dramaaaaaaaaa

Sooooo this whole post might come of as slightly weird, coming from someone who has only been immersed in the whole 'scene' for a rather brief period, and who's not as involved as some of the rest in the community. But even in the short while I'm being involved, there's a few issues I have with the aspect of the cosplay community that I figured I'd put out a couple of my 5 cents on the subject.

...OK. Maybe more than 5 cents... Hence why I decided that it's best if I split it into two parts. So here's the second part of the entry for you to read later.

Monday, July 29, 2013

Rest in peace, Ryutaro Nakamura

The official Twitter feed for the Chibi Neko Tom no Dai Bōken anime announced on Thursday that anime director and storyboard artist Ryutaro Nakamura (Serial Experiments Lain, Kino's Journey) had passed away on June 29 at 4 p.m. after months of being hospitalized while fighting pancreatic cancer. The announcement was made after permission was given by his family. He was 58 years old at the time of his death.


This is quite sad for me: Serial Experiments Lain and Kino's Journey are both one of my top favourite series, with the first one, if I could say, changed my perspective (with its topic on the internet and social networking and the sort), and the subtopic on religion, technology, evolution - it's unlike anything I've ever watched then.

Funnily I found it because one of my friend constantly uses Lain as her avatar, and I'm intrigued when I saw the description of the series.

Rest in peace Ryutaro Nakamura. Thanks for all the memories.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Tauhu rojak

I was at Times Square's Borders, on the carpet, browsing through this one novel - 28 Hari - when he called.

It was this one guy on one of the provided bench - earlier the vacant spot was occupied by this bored looking woman, and it was then that I gave a mental slap to my forehead, seeing as I didn't take the provided comfort provided by the shop.

He asked where I was from. 'UM,' I replied. And him? 'Oxford... nah, just kidding'. I would later learn he's from Damansara, and how he was on a trip around KL area.

He was this one tall guy, with spectacles, and a blue scard hung lazily around his neck. He was reading one of the novel, Cerpen. Seeing as we were both reading, our conversation geared towards books - apparently he had read the book I was holding, and he remarked that he liked reading book on music... as well as a bit of novel cinta, if I'm not mistaken.

I never gotten around to know what he really does, but he was saying how he's writing for songs... and also this one biography on M. Nasir. He likes listening to Nasheed, folk music... anything but black metal (though heavy metal is OK with him). He's the eldest in a sibling of five, with all boys save for his youngest sister.

His name is Sham. He was carrying a pink slingbag, and he passed me a copy of a book on Yusuf Islam in the short while we were on the bench.

Since he talked of writing, I mentioned how the local publication is good now - Fixi, Lejen Press - look at these eye catching cover designs, he pointed out.

It was Ramadhan. I told him I'm breaking fast in UM's mosque. He said I should try Masjid Al-Bukhari - I might just try it one of these days, while I'm in KL.

He know of the art performance in Perdanasiswa every Wednesday evening. He commented how UM has no Mass Communication course. He was asking if people could come in the university's library.

All the while I'm trying to imagine how involved he is in his art - whether I would meet him again, where he would proudly produce his writings (be it in the form of book, or a song).

Eventually I bid him farewell. His hands were smooth, and cold. I wondered how long he was in the bookstore.

On the way back to UM, I bought a pasembor (or rojak tauhu as it's called outside of Kedah or Penang yo) - I've been craving for it ever since we christened ourself (a bunch of enthusiastic people working on a Touhou Project artbook) Touhou Projak... and that is a different story.

There was an abundance of food that day at the mosque - nasi ayam and bubur lambuk. Nasi ayam was alright, bubur lambuk is how I'd describe as 'nutty and meaty'. I had my pasembor last, and it was good.

My craving was satisfied, but I sure could go for another round of it another day.

An enthusiastic art person, and a pasembor. Both connected in the sense that both I've encountered by chance.

Friday, July 12, 2013


Happy Ramadhan to those who are observing it! No hanky panky mmhmmmmm

Ask me about Ramadhan, and I would view the whole thing as a time to practice minimalism. It's something more of a spiritual experience for me. Hopefully I can strengthen my inner self during this time - all for a better mind, spirit and all that eh?

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

An old friend

Today I have received news that one of my old coursemate have passed away last Sunday. He was caught in a motorcycle accident in a place that isn't too far from his hometown.

I was utterly caught by surprise with this news. After most of us have graduated, each of us are caught up with out own destination that we generally keep in touch with only a handful of ex coursemates. And some more or less stay out of touch almost completely - this guy was one example. Not many people knew what he's up to, and he don't really use social media a lot like the rest of us.

The last time I spoke with him was a few months ago, when I called him out of the blue to ask him what he's up to. And that was not too long after a chance encounter with him in the city, when he was looking for a position for work.

He is as old as I am, and his death prompted me to think deeply on questions such as what I really wanted to do with life, or how the people and the world around you will act after your death, or... what actually happens to us when we die?

I try to carry on as usual the rest of the day, but there's just that sadness and confusion and depression going on at the back of my head. Outward I seem like I'm just going through the day as usual, but... my mind is still not really there.

He is one of the most random, funniest and crazy (albeit low-key kind of crazy) people that I know. He was certainly not the usual 'normals' that you could find; he's cool. He's not so much outstanding or brilliant, but he was an all around pleasant and fun to hang around with. We certainly had a good time back then in our student life. If I didn't find him, my degree life would have been considerably more serious and boring... or maybe even much stressful.

We'll definitely miss you, Jun. Al-Fatihah.

ADDENDUM: I've just remembered how he was featured in one of my blog post way back. So, here we go...

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

3 years of eating danmaku

And as usual, I'll start this short musing by recalling how it all began by checking out a few albums off the awesome CROW'SCLAW, and coming across a well written entry on a blog for interested newbs at that time.

And it began with... two 

Sunday, May 19, 2013

Some further thoughts on crossplaying

A follow up to the post I've written way back, with a few more things to comment after some experience and observations.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Positive minded

We need more positive minded people.

Of course, when I said that I meant to seperate from the naive overly optimistic ones. There is a fine line between being a realist and a cynic, and those line might have overlapped without us being able to differentiate where it is.

The ones who have assessed reality for what it is, and act accordingly to the situation - making the best out of what they have - they are the ones who are most commendable. And as much as negativity is easily passed on to others, so are positivity (the non fake and naive ones). But unfortunately, the way I see it it's these negativities and fake optimism which are being spread around - and the second type I view it as further causing a positive feedback on the negativity: when they are told how they should act, how 'wrong' they are, on how they should follow the norm to happiness.

But what is happiness anyway? It's very subjective. And I'm thinking on how we're lacking on people who are positive minded, being drown out by the voices of negativities.

Maybe someday we will realize that we don't need to tell all the bad things that we feel just to make us feel better; to validate our own existence, as some might feel; without realizing we're running a vicious cycle where all this negativity keeps on getting bigger and bigger.


Friday, May 10, 2013

Moment of epiphany

Another update on my Master study level, eh? Because that's where I spend most of my time and effort right now (as it should be).

After a long period of procrastination and stalling, I've finally done the presentation seminar for my research progress this morning. And it was... very disappointing, to say it in better words.

But what was interesting was the whole event which leads up to this morning:

2 days prior, I've had a frank talk with my supervisor on how my research is progressing. A few points were given, and it was agreed that I need to go out and get something done: something tangible, something feasible to boost my confidence and morale to keep my research going. It did raise my morale there and then - but it just get better.

Yesterday morning, in my effort to rush and finish designing the slides for the presentation, I've encountered a long time college senior - one who you could say have pretty much instill my interest in pursuing a line in academia. We had a short talk on researching in general, on where do we go from here; on how we should rise up to the challenge and not stop halfway; on how we could use our position in contributing for the society - well, you know those kind of academician talks hahaha.

All this, coupled with sleep deprivation, with the final piece being some critical advices and suggestions from my supervisors - I could only say it was a moment of epiphany. After a long time of just slaving away with no real intention, I find the road to academia to be much well illuminated now.

The next thing to do, of course, is to take action and translate all the ideas into something workable. And I won't stop until I've achieved it. For this is the road not taken, and seeing as I've chosen to walk upon it, I'll see to it that I make it until the end.

Monday, May 6, 2013

Times Like These: Rambling from an ultra neutralist

By now, I'm sure most are aware of the general pessimism and depression surrounding the result of the 13th Malaysian General Election. The most obvious trend that's going right now is the blackening of most social website's profile - which I'm sure represent how the view the state of the country: dark; hopeless; dirty.

Now I won't deny it: as the result was slowly being announced, I was disappointed. With the long buildup of political awareness since the last general election - with the general public taking a greater interest in the political game here - I was looking forward to some sort of change in the political landscape here.

And I'm sure I'm not the only one with the same thought. So I could imagine the devastated hearts everywhere as the news was out.

Am I angry? I guess. Devastated? Sort of. I try to take an ultra neutral stance on all this, to not let myself get carried away with the ongoing mood and feelings of the people. To think.

But I'm even more devastated with the current pessimism running in response to what has been unfolding. There was talk on how they lost hope in Malaysia, on how dirty the political landscape here. And the worst part of it is that a lot seems to follow the current sentiment without really thinking it through. And perhaps most have conveniently forget how they show their worst sides during all this while that leads up to the election: hate for hate, ignorance for ignorance.

Now don't get me wrong: I'm not saying it's all squeaky clean here and all is right. But what I do want to say is how we're too quick to give up in the face of this adversary. Sure the current party has been leading the country for more than 50 years. Sure it speaks volume of the political situation here which favour them to hold on power for this long.

But you know what? I believe we're on a right way for change. Never before, I believe has the leading party been scrutinized this much. The amount of involvement from the people in the election this time seems very phenomenal. While it does not really translate into our desired result, we've surely changed on how the political landscape will look like in the near future.

Sure we're hungry for change, but maybe it's not this time. To throw it all away and say how you've given up in the country... that's very much like running three quarter of a marathon and you throw in the towel just because you can't see the finish line yet. To be angry without logic is pointless, but to totally lose hope is even worse.

So with all the general pessimism, cynicism and depression, I seriously hope that the light of reason and logic will shine through. Come on Malaysian, we're much stronger than we give ourselves some credit! It might take a while to get where we wanted, but I believe we're on the right track.

I just wish that we would be able to stand shoulder to shoulder, and to think on our own feet. Because the way I see it, if we're still naive and gullible to being pulled around by our nose; if we're easily caught up in mob mentality and emotional drive; if we lose hope, then the same thing will turn out no matter who's in charge.

We need more people to push on logic and reasons, instead of baseless rhetorics and emotional drive. Until then, I'll take an ultra neutralist stance on the situation that unfolds and do my part in getting the change to happen.

Not change in governance necessarily, but change in the people's mindset.


Sunday, March 31, 2013

Reflecting on my Master level progress

So hey, been a while since I've actually written on anything on how my work is going eh?

To get back into the start of it all, I've enrolled in a full research Master level study here in the field of science (geology) for about a year now. There's so much time that has passed since... and yet - lets not mince on words here - very little real work has actually been done.

So what happened?

Monday, March 18, 2013

How strange, the old me

I was looking back at some of the older posts just now, and it struck me immediately how I was very much interested to report on the smallest things then. Slice of life, if you will.

In a way, this was back when I don't feel the need to spam my thoughts in social media (it didn't caught on at that time), so I have ample time to work out on my thoughts. Now, it's pretty much instant gratification that I expect...

And the blogosphere was very much active back then too.

Of course one very important thing I take note of is how some part of me regressed intellectually. Perhaps because I haven't exercise my critical thinking as much, which leads to rather sloppy (at least that's how I view it myself) writing nowadays.

Slowly, I try to get back into the hang of things. Writing for the sake of writing. Writing with an intention of them being read by someone else, as opposed to an angry scribbling on the wall. And the likes.

Sunday, March 10, 2013

The Jungle Seminar: 7 Essential Lessons for Success (book review)

There's a bit of long gap - much longer than I expected - between the last post, even when I have tried to make it a habit of writing again.

Perhaps it is fitting then that this post would touch on a book that I've read recently: The Jungle Seminar by Boris von Smercek. It's a light read, that I managed to finish in one evening (with the odd nap thrown in between).

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

You can change your life (book review)

Change. It comes in different form, from something that is potentiall life changing to something that we simply do because we feel like so. How common it is for us to think, 'if only I had much more money rather than being broke by the end of the month'? Or perhaps, 'I wish I wasn't as unhappy as I am now'? Or maybe something even much more smaller, such as 'I should pick up a hobby', or the ever popular 'I need to lose weight'. 

No matter how ambitious or petty our goals, we know that to actually reach there could only mean one thing: something needs to be changed.

Friday, February 1, 2013

Sometimes, you just need to write at least something

I'll be honest that I've been at loss of motivation and direction recently with where my work was going. I felt frustrated because I couldn't really find that push, that original spark that let me take the plunge into the whole business.

The whole self doubt issue begin to crop up. But then, I figured that something should - something need to be done about it.

So I went back to the basic: I read. I digest. I analyze. And I begin to write.

And it might not be much, but I sure feel motivated. Some scribbling (more towards metaphorical really, ahah) later, and I felt like I could keep going and going.

And with that, I've decided that I need to get back into the habit of reading and writing. And what better place to get myself back into that habit than here? Although it can be said that the mass social media takes away most people's need and feeling for blogging, but there's something that makes it a much better platform than a stray thoughts being typed out in the sea of social media.

Perhaps it is much closer to writing in a diary, rather than a scribble on the wall - if I'm allowed to give a metaphor.

Of course, there's that other place for me to write more freely my thoughts, but I'll occasionally muster up something around here. Something more thought out than simple ramblings, perhaps?
Hey, this is a platform after all - and it's something which I've neglected for a while already, it seems. I should buck up and get myself occupied again. The idle mind's the devil playground, and whatnot.

Don't call this a comeback, but it's near close enough.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Your private thoughts

Outside of everyday conversations, you still need to get your thoughts out. Thoughts that you can't simply talk over sympathetic ears, thoughts that you have no qualm in getting it out to the general public in a way which you would rather not and choose not to in casual conversations.

Hence the proliferation of social networks - a rather misleading name, if you were to ask me. Because it does seems that the bulk of 'social activities' are rather monologues in which you hope others were to join in.

But anyway, that's only part of the point. The other point to all this monologuing about is when you realize how your inner thoughts aren't necessarily profound and significant when you were to compare with others. Well, perhaps that is to be expected, since we're all humans after all, and we operate on similar basic principles...

I would just point out that what we view as a profound observations, rants, philosophy, discussion etc - our thoughts - once we get them outside, we would no sooner realize how it isn't as profound as we make it out to be in the first place. That is, of course, if we take a step back and realize this. And by me saying this, I'm not saying it's useless or waste of time, no. I'm merely pointing out how some of us give our own thoughts too much value.

We feel like we said something significant when the rest of the world looks on, engrossed in each own's thoughts.

There is of course no problem in getting your thoughts out. Hey, at least it articulate your points clearly, and you can see what exactly goes on in your mind. But of course, perhaps we should be selective about it? Self expression, think of it that way.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

After death

A while ago I pondered on the question of getting old and dying, but just how many of us would think of what will happen when we're truly dead?

One day, we're going to stop breathing, and that'll be the end of our part - as the rest of the world moves on, with you being but a remnant of the past.

Preparing for the moment of death is one thing, but whatever happens to us after we die? And who can truly tell us this? Who gets the final say, 'I told you I was right' on whether there is life after death - or the lack of it?

Just ponder for a moment - what's going to happen after you die?

Saturday, January 5, 2013

Being busy, being happy

Would tiredness equates, up to a point, happiness?

It does seems to me that the cases of being unhappy and depressed can stem from the lack of activity, rather than a surge of it. Perhaps our preoccupation with work keeps us from the small trivial things that would make us to view our life as pointless... and is that a bad thing?

Is it a case of happy unaware worker and the sad contemplative hermit? I don't think so.

Even on our own, with our mind left to stagnate, we fell prey to all those unhappy and negative thoughts. And it doesn't have to equate not working - even with our hands full, but with our mind empty, the devil comes out to make a playground.

I suppose that's why they say an idle man is the devil's playground eh?

And on a somewhat similar note, ever notice the words those unhappy people use? The ones hoping for something to pull them out of their misery?

Perhaps that's what we get for being lazy. Maybe because misery is actually comfort. To be happy require us to surmount energy and effort. Hence, getting yourself busy and tired may prove to be a good step in gaining happiness.

Which is why I try to keep myself occupied as much as possible. Even in my free time, I'm somewhat of a workaholic.

Because life is all about learning. And it doesn't stop until the day you die.

Now don't just sit there all day and let your mind rot. Do something.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

(Obligatory) New year post (2013 ver)

Another year passed, and it's high time I produce another blog post eay?

I won't make a resolution on making more posts for the year tho

Slight trivia: I was born in the year of the snake