Drifting apart (like a plate tectonic)

(Obligatory) New year post

2012-01-02T17:17:00.004+08:00

So, it's gonna be the year of Mei Ling now. How did I fared during the year of Reisen and Tewi?

A lot of things have happened - just like any other year. I'm happy. I get depressed. I raged. I ponder. I worry. I sleep. Etc.

To be more specific, a few significant events took place last year. For one thing, I have finally finished my tertiary education study (3 years have passed so fast), and gotten a taste of what working life feels like. It was a period where I begun to speculate on my future, burdened with the fear of uncertainties, not knowing how things will work out. Now, I'm still waiting for my admission into Master level - hopefully everything will turn out great.

It is also during these time that I've came across two sets of work, both with somewhat contradicting (but somewhat rather similar) sets of philosophies - Fight Club and Dead Poet Society - which have shaped my current philosophy towards life. Anyone who haven't read and watched these two work - I would highly recommend to do so. It was during the period of depression and uncertainties that I've found them - and they've been pretty helpful.

New year resolutions... I've decided that I'm better off without them, seeing as most of them are only half-baked ones anyway.

...Well, if there is the need for one, it'd be for me to be a better person. You can't keep on being a self centered koala, I'd say. As much as I'm into solitude, I do enjoy traveling to other trees and plains.

(Why the koala simile? That, I might go on in future post)

Also, I've seen the fall and rise of a few people that I know, both online and out in the real world. I'm confused with them, I know what they're going through, I listened to their chronicles. I've seen them grovel, pained, in denial, angry, and in the end, breaking out of the despair.

So for those people: I'm glad that you've pulled through. Here's to a good year ahead; don't ever give up on yourself.

Anyone who remembered (or actually went to check) my post for 2011 would remember me posting some pictures there. So here we go, the ones for this year:

To put 2011 in picture form, I'd sum it with these two pictures:

This post is going off in several directions isn't it? Have a concluding haiku:

Two zero one one
That is like so yesteryear
Change your calendar!

Pre C81 fangirling

2011-12-28T22:34:00.000+08:00

As with what I've done before, some rambling on the albums for the upcoming C81 that I'm looking forward to:

The most anticipated ones

I didn't know there was even a Barrage Am Ring album being produced. Anyway, this sounds pretty much like Barrage Am Ring 1 (still couldn't beat the awesomeness of the first one - Barrage Am Ring 0), so I'm not actually too excited - but the fact that xi-on is part of the project had me looking forward to this release.

Preview

CROW'SCLAW presents us with an original work album, and this time with (engrish) vocals. Having said that, I always liked Yamagen ever since he lend his voice on the The Young Descendent of Tepes on Barrage Am Ring. His shift from clean vocal to scream is amazing.

So yes. FUCKING TAKA CERTIFIED.

Crossfade

After 2 years, amidst much waiting and hair pulling, one of the Touhou Metal Arrangement Gods, Demetori, returns. And from the preview, a lot of people were comparing the new work with Pundarika. Which is fine by my, since I dig the heavy sound of that album; gotta love them 8 strings guitar. Definitely the most anticipated album for this Comiket.

FUCK YEAH DEMETORI!

Crossfade

Foreground Eclipse is out with their 3rd album, and they did a cover of a song (I don't know which band did the original) and 2 original track. The Kogasa arrangement was a pleasant surprise; it's the track that I'm looking forward the most.

Crossfade

First of all, whoa. Clocking at 14 minute, this is the longest crossfade I've ever come across. Ah well, it's no secret that I'm drawn for their last album (as well as this one) due to Ranko and Merami. I've heard of Chata before, but I'm honestly not familiar with IZNA . Seems like the album is Ten Desires themed.

The title made me laugh somewhat. I wonder if they intended it to come out as Sadomasoim, instead of something else. Engrish much?

Crossfade

So no Abecky this time around huh? I've heard plenty of ウェストヴィレッジ from Undead Corporation, so I'm used to his voice already (even tho on the first listening, his voice kinda emits a strange unconscious growling from my own throat, huh.

The instrumental tracks are pretty good. Bach certainly can shred like a boss. Also, a random PC-98 arrangement, not a bad thing at all.

I'm kinda disappointed how Akemi is not on this album, but eh. The album does seems to pack a lot of heaviness for this one. Screaming and growling vocals for those who dig metalcore. So far I love the arrangement for Rumia out of all the tracks (And is that Akemi there on the vocal? If so, then YES).

Near the end (at least from the crossfade) the vocals becomes all garbled and nonsense. But I guess it's a standard fare for metalcore eh? (no offense meant to those who are into the genre, mind).

Another instrumental affair from Unlucky Morpheus (collaboration with Icarus'cry). Yuki is slowly becoming one of my favourite guitarist when it comes to Touhou arrangement - just listen how his finger moves on the fretboard. There's also a bit of break with jazzy and classical tunes here and there. It's Amazement Park and Heavy Metal Be-Bop again - and I ain't complaining.

Crossfade

(incidentally, if you like Eurobeat, their other release might interest you)

The usual regulars

IRON ATTACK! -Nice, a couple of Ten Desires arrangement. The acoustic intro of the Rural Makai City Esoteria is pretty sweet. We all know Iron-Chino's prowess on the fretboard already; nothing here knock me off my seat really.

Buta Otome - Is that Dark Side Of Fate in the beginning? It's certainly a different feel compared to their last arrangement of the theme. Also, one of the track sounds (7th track if I'm not mistaken) like the heaviest they did so far; props to comp for trying something different on that track.

There's also the full instrumental piano album from paprika by the way.

xi-on - They are always pleasant to listen to, and this album doesn't seem to disappoint. The arrangement for Broken Moon is something that the album title spells out: I'm expecting to listen that one.

Other circles' albums I'm looking out for

Blankfield
DDBY
Kissing The Mirror (the presence of Albert interest me somewhat)
Pizuya's Cell
Pocket AD (never heard anything from these guys before; giving them a try)
Sister's Spreadi-i
South Of Heaven
Syrufit X Pizuya's Cell
tuuten

Wow what a list.

MY EARS ARE READY

Comic Fiesta 2011

2011-12-23T18:23:00.000+08:00

Alrighty, obligatory post-event report (or picspamming, to be more exact)

As of last year, this one ends up being Touhou-oriented. The #1 reason for this, most would already be acquainted with by now; and as for #2: all of the pictures are taken by someone else, who somewhat have similar preference.

Before we get to the good stuff, some comments on the event:

As with most of those who were there, I would testify that the 1st day was a DISASTER in terms of crowd control. Now I've been to the same event last year, and I could agree that this year, the venue was larger. BUT! Add to a larger crowd + the butthurt looking and rude management of the venue - who seems to view the crowds with a certain amount of contempt - and you have something akin to a packed sardine in a can (except that these sardines are angry). Seriously, some people are left to stand outside of the convention hall, with the light drizzle coming down and all; I really pity those people who are denied access to even purchase the entry ticket.

Most of us who managed to get in were stuck in Hall 4 for half of the day (reserved for cosplayers, photo taking, and to ship in people who just arrived), so we didn't really get to see the doujin booths and stage performance for Day 1.

Hall 4, pre-lockdown

2nd day was somewhat better, even though I heard that the number of crowd was actually more than Day 1. I guess it's because the management doesn't butt in as much as the day before. Anyway, hats off to the CF committee for their hard work in keeping the event running smoothly.

There was a good number of Touhou cosplay this time, and what makes it better is how most of us decided to stick around as a group rather than going off solo. In the future tho, we would very much like to actually gather all the people in a group. To quote:

"next time, lets have a kyouko cos, with a flag on her broom saying "TOUHOU HIJACK LOL" and let her call up every touhou and gather at one place"

I'm betting not many people would recognize them as Touhou character (especially Renko)

Uhhh pretend that this is Flan 4000 years later

Random madness, we've got 'em aplenty:

Much of our random madness ensue with the Marisa

A bit of loot from the event:

2 bootleg nendo (gotten them from someone), 1 ofuda (found in my bag), 1 DS screenshot photo thingamijie (received from a Hatate cosplayer), 3 books, and 1 sticker sets

Oh, and here's something for those who are interested in numbers and figures: a comparison between the Touhou cosplayers in CF 2010 and CF 2011.

More character variation this year, although people were commenting on how there's a lot of Yuuka cosplay this year. Not a bad turnout; it's nice seeing the series growing.

I'll end this sort-of report with the best picture of the event. I really love this one:

'til next time~

Suddenly, it's only...

2011-12-11T12:23:00.001+08:00

Near mid of December already. And that one event is just less than a week away. And I'm not properly ready for it yet. Got some stuff that I have to finalize.

This year I'm not coming to the event in civilian clothes. Yeap, it's what you think it is. Nervous + anxious + excited + I wonder what will happen on that day. Might let out more on that in post-event review. Maybe.

Slow progress on Master application. Planning to do so next week, see the head of department and stuff. Go meet lecturers. Have lunch with dudes I haven't seen for a while. Plan plan plan plan. The cogs and wheels in my head are turning. I'm writing haiku in my head to put things into perspective (wait, what)

...OK. Got a whole load of stuff in my backlog, but those might be pushed in times when I don't have anything to write. Or just sit there for god knows how long.

Why am I writing all this. I dunno. Just for the sake of writing I guess. Gehhhhhhh

Ah well, random pic, since I don't know what else to put as filler. Have at it:

In my book, 2nd after nonomy (??!!).

Writing will probably resume after christmas. Or after next weekend.

Take it easy guys~

Yellow Zebra, dissolved

2011-11-30T16:04:00.001+08:00

First of all, go through this page (Google Translate if you wanna know the gist of it - don't worry, it makes sense most of the time; heck, even the url gave it away).

So with this, I guess the rumour that I heard of this year being the last M1 was true after all.

Now to be honest I've only watched a couple of the M1 series video, and even then, I hadn't then know that they were produced by Yellow Zebra. But the circle itself, on the other hand...

Because life is full of chances and surprises, I actually found this circle totally by accident, after seeing a list of albums by this circle being hosted at a certain blog. Slightly curious by the name (and the cute album cover, tehehe), I checked out their first album... which turns out to be rather plain, and didn't really had any impact to me at that time. I thought that IOSYS (this was obviously an early period) had better stuff than these guys, and that they are not my cup of tea.

Unlike some other circles which I've immersed myself then (C-CLAYS, Silver Forest), I've decided to stick by to their works, and I was pleasantly surprised listening to subsequent works. For most of the time (with the exception of a couple of albums), they kept a very constant lineup, with Yuki Fujimiya providing the lighter, soothing (and not exactly 'cute', but pretty close) vocal, whereas the other one, ucchi, with that deep, mature sound.

Yuki's vocal

ucchi's vocal

And when they perform as a duo, the result is pretty cool:

I could mention the point that they're pretty underrated when it comes to vocal arrangement, and since this will be their farewell... I thought the timing couldn't be more fitting for me to at least mention about them. It's a shame, since they're definitely up there in my list of favourite vocal arrangement circles, along the same line of Buta Otome and TaNaBaTa. I'm gonna miss them.

And it only dawned to me that they've been in the game since 2006. They've came pretty far don't you think? Five years later, it's a shame they're not as popular as other vocal arrangement circles... but in a way, that is one of the reason why I love them. Being low profile has its own charm, I'd say.

Godspeed Yuki and ucchi, and hopefully we'll be seeing your work resurfacing in a different time, at a different place.

"そして素晴らしい活動の場を与えて頂いたZUNさんに心より感謝致します。"

That feel when...

2011-11-25T15:39:00.000+08:00

You have a lot of posts in your backlog which you had planned on publishing, but they end up in there so long that you've even forgotten why you started writing them in the first place.

I know it's not as if I have deadlines and schedules to follow here, but I like to put up some writing every once in a while. At least it puts forward what I have in mind - perspectives, ideas, and whatnot - in light so that I could review it and get myself to do more thinking.

...or something like that. Figured out that it's better to throw out some thoughts than to let it stagnate in the nook and crannies of the brain, mm?

I love kemonomichi's Patchy. Heck, I love kemonomichi's style in general: the rough sketch style, the makeup (on the characters)... those lips

On the other hand, I feel like putting aside those rants (not that I have much to rant about now anyway) and move on to a subject which has long interest me (you know what it is). Still, some would be more 'itsa me!' perspective rather than a thoughtful analytical(?) writing... but that's fine and all, mm?

I might even bring back to dead some of those old forgotten posts. Wait for it...

I noticed a lack of writings from the regular dudes and dudettes. So...

obligatory How are you doing?

Animals go to heaven

2011-11-16T22:04:00.000+08:00

I've just received news yesterday that two of the kittens at our house have died. One apparently died due to some sort of disease (snake bite seems to be the culprit), whereas the other one - on the day after that - died after being ran over.

No I do not want to inquire who it was that ran him over. Let bygones be bygones.

The best thing about animals: they don't argue on what would happen in the life afterward. So now both of them have passed on, to become one with nature, where they are to fertilize any flowers which you could care to name.

We're going to miss you Elgee and Lucky.

Though thousands of lives disperse and die, these flower ever blossom
Again and again in countless cycles, like a faint dream

I had 回路-kairo- on loop all day long

2011-11-13T17:43:00.003+08:00

Without going into much details, I've let it all go. I've let all those nasty things out of my system. And it feels good.

Friends are awesome. Cherish them, and live a happy life.

Otherwise translated as : All is right with the world

Take care, friends.

Carpe diem - seize the day.

Seize the day, boys

2011-11-09T01:09:00.001+08:00

I sincerely believe that anyone who is really into something - who is really passionate about it - and who knows what they are doing, no matter how mediocre (or poor) the starting is, should be encouraged.

Or at the very least, stop giving them the evil eyes or snide remarks just because they're doing something different. Or are you jealous because you can't do the same thing, mm?

The truth about art (music, drawing, sculpting, and the lots), I think, is this; you see a lot of new faces everytime, some pretty good, some so-so, and some so... 'abstract' that you don't have an inkling what it's supposed to be (I think you know what I'm driving in by that). You'd be forgiven to think that the ones who made the cut are like since their starting. I think it's not wrong to say that there's an awful lot of absence of evidence - after all, who would go on publishing their failed attempts over the ones that work, right?

...hey, I'm not into the field of art myself, but I think this observation is sound, isn't it? Or maybe this fact is so obvious that everyone else know of it already, ha.

You know, I've only watched Dead Poet Society after a majority of this (admittedly rather short post) was written; and as I was watching it, I kept on thinking, hey this movie really resonate wells with my thoughts and thinking. It's a mighty good movie, and I love it to bits. I love movies that make me just wanna sit down and think.

And this, I believe, should resonate well not only to poems, but with all who are in the field of arts, whatever form they might be:

"We don't read and write poetry because it's cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering, these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love, these are what we stay alive for."

So to whomever passionate about arts - whatever form it is - I'll say keep on at it. You - yes, YOU: go on and persevere in whatever it is that you're passionate about.

A 9-5 life in Gombak: The wait

2011-11-08T00:29:00.002+08:00

Currently I'm working part-time at a consulting agency for engineering geology while I awaits for some progress on my Master application. Things are going pretty well, but it's been so long since when I first applied that I've somewhat lost the momentum in terms of researching.

Going through literatures and papers is in order, it seems, to get the flame flickering again, like.

I planned on writing some recollection of how things have been going so far, but decided to post some pictures off my working and living space instead. Yes, I was lucky that the office had one room in which previous employee had used as a temporary residential space in the past.

My working space. This is during a weekend, so it's not as cluttered as it is on normal days.

The view from where I sit almost all day long, working on whatever the clients wanted us to produce.

The room in question. Not exactly big, but it serves its purpose. Also, dat Patchy.

Some stuff

The adjoining section of the room. Yup, the room is pretty much L-shaped.

A cat that roams around outside the office. He's a bit crazy...

...I actually got bitten for no reason just now. Love hurts :C

Just now I realize how the position of the office is in relationship to other landmarks:

Batu Caves in the west...

Klang Gates Quartz in the north and east...

...and Kuala Lumpur in the south.

So we have two main geological features surrounding the front of the office, with the ever busy city at the back. To take it symbolically, it shows how I am ever close to the subject, while the big city is there, beckoning me to return one of these days...

Anyway, the place is somewhat rather boring during the weekends that I practically go out for every single weekend. Either that, or I activate my hikki mode and stay in the small section of the office, all day long. Ah, I've never loved weekends more than this...

In the meantime, have some Maiden:

Ah, seems like I've been getting lazier to come up with meatier posts. I actually have a lot of stuff in the blog's backlog that I wanted to put up, and yet they somewhat stopped midway. Perhaps I should start digging them up, since I don't have much ideas lately for a (proper) post...

How is everyone else doing?

A funky philosophical ride after a dose of shroom

2011-11-03T22:54:00.000+08:00

You know, I had my dose of 'shroom just now, and right there, while reading Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything (it's a mighty good book - I'd recommend everyone to read it), I began to ponder the philosophical question of human existence:

Mushroom - it's good for you!

Ask any astronomer, and they will attest to you how large and spacious our universe. How distant the star, how old the galaxy, how far we have come from the Big Bang.

Ask any geologist, and they will recite dates that goes not in years, but million of years, of events which are considered recent. The time when we could discern the evidence of earliest life form, events in the past which goes on scales so slow that they'd look awfully slow in our fleeting human lifetime.

And any normal layman who are not versed in these fields might thought, 'and how do they know all of this?'

Well, I've read the book several times, and the way how we came to know of some (our knowledge are so little) of the answers to the nagging questions never fail to amaze me. To be able to observe nature is one thing, but to (convincingly) explain how it all place together in the whole grand scheme... it's certainly marvelous. Humans are so amazing.

Which brings to this one crucial question: we are so self centered aren't we?

When we look at the brief period of written human history, we felt as if we were there since everything began. We never think of our own short life span, much less how little the whole history of the human race when compared with the overall time span that has passed since all of this began.

But really, does it all make any difference if we thought so? All those unthinkable period of time, distance, alien concept - do they really matters to us humans who are oh-so-full of desires, aspirations, dreams, blood, sweat, tears, and whatever else in between?

Think about it: before we are here, do the world even know we are coming? And after all the human race is gone (unless if we somewhat manage to survive like bacterias and viruses - constantly evolving, changing, adapting - but I'll leave it to the future generations to ponder on that) , does it matter the least whatever in the world happens with this, well, world?

So who cares if we get more ice ages, or if the Sun starts to expand, or if the continents moved and amalgamate to form a supercontinent? Certainly outside of human, all this are pretty mundane and pointless... don't you think?

Now, in this (rather shabby) philosophical thought, what underpin this whole rambling - what gotten me started on this - is the question: is there a higher deiti(es) after all?

No, before anyone grills me and accusing me of bringing about heresy (or those who came to embrace that notion), let it be known that I am merely trying to point out how our ancestors of old have come to believe in all those spirits, guardians, deities - whatever you call the unknown, the being(s) that control what is out of our control (yes I know that is not the best wording, but you get the idea).

And if you take the whole idea of evolution as true, that we retain some animalistic features from our much much early ancestors... then it does seem interesting how we are to believe in the Unknown. Do animals act that way? Or is that a mysterious feature that occur in our species? Could it be, could it be...?

For the sceptics, I wonder how they perceive a world that goes on without us, without a higher being, going on without a purpose. But well, in any case for as long as human speech and communication exists, the world revolves around our perceived large self - nature perhaps don't really give a leaping fuck to whatever happens to us, but so long as we life, I think it is natural to think we are the master of this world - never mind the fact how insignificant we are in this world.

There's really A LOT to be thought about this world... but maybe we'll do just fine without thinking that much, eh? Ignorance is bliss, and all that...

Meanwhile, some like this certain rambler, would go on and thinks on, perhaps after having his share on mushrooms...

I dunno, just felt like putting the song here

And for the record, the mushroom in question is the edible ones, the ones where you can put in soup. I wonder how the heck this rush of thoughts could come though. Philosphical thought inducing mushrooms I guess?

Now, if the mushrooms could induce some other reaction... but whop, I'm getting slightly ahead of myself here~ ♥

And I know, I'm a philosopher/spacing outer with pervert tendencies, yeaaaaa

There is no such thing as too many Patchy, so here's another one ♥

Jrock no Tamashii 2

2011-10-23T20:47:00.003+08:00

After the last concert I went way back in March, I decided to go again to another one: this time, it's Jrock no Tamashii 2, featuring bands which does - what else - Japanese music, with an emphasis on the heavy sound of rock (and the occasional metal).

The concert was last Sunday, and I somewhat got sidetracked while writing this - you know, the usual.

I was actually not really serious about going to the gig at first, but after considering the fact that I missed one of the band's performance during the last event - that'd be desu! - I decided to make up for it and come over for the performance.

(I dunno if those guys come over here, but thanks guys for letting me hang around. desu! rocks!)

Anyway, on to the performance. Prepare for some picspamming and the sort below:

The first opening act was Rade, which I understood to be more of an opening rather than one of the acts. There wasn't much of a crowd at that time, if I recalled correctly.

The first main (or second performing, however you look at it) band was AniOn Project (Anime Ongaku Project).

As they played their first song, I thought, 'hey, this sounds familiar...' And when the unmistakable part of Mysterious Mountain was in...

I CAME (tho I deserved to be shot for not recognizing the song right from the start :T)

[ADDENDUM: I had the recording of the video, but it's now set for private viewing upon request. Feel free to message me or something at my YT account if you're curious; 's a good rendition]

[As such, these are 2 stills from the video]

Third band (lets stick with this numbering) was desu!, who plays their own brand of 'Akihabara Punk'. They're probably one of the few bands of the night who go for a fuwa-fuwa and moe style with a touch of punk. It's this style that makes me love these guys (and gal).

Their original release

Fourth band was One Inch Closer. One of their song is an original, which is sung in Chinese if I recalled correctly. Can't remember much about this band tho, sorry.

Next band was Gensekii. I love the bassist; he has that 'feel' when he plucks the 5-strings. The vocalist was pretty cool too I guess.

The band after that is the simple named Sky. Their style is a anything but that, with the vocalist/guitarist utilizing a mixer(?) (I don't know what you call it). Pretty unique.

Mystical Mirage comes next. The bassist somewhat reminded me of the guitarist off Maximum The Hormone - what do you think?

The last band for the first section was Flying Pan... and my, they are quite awesome. Other than desu!, I think they are among the few band so far at that point that had a lot of interaction with the crowd. I love the bassist ♥

I actually went smack to foot of the stage at that point, and it was great. I hope to see more of these guys in the future.

After a much deserved break, Strawhats Crew resumed the show, and their name notwithstanding, covering Final Fantasy themes.

I would without a doubt designated the word 'epic' to describe them. While I'm not much of a Final Fantasy gamer per se (you'd be surprised how little I actually played out of the series... but I digress), the music is unmistakably good, and these guys really nailed it.

And surprise surprise, they actually did an encore - clashing between crowd request and organizer's schedule - even after they had really started walking off the stage with their stuff and everything. That's awesome!

I did not record this, but view it to get a perspective on how awesome they are

Flicked Mind comes next, perhaps rivaling desu! in terms of their moe factor. I think they are the only band where some people were actually dancing - or as it appear to me, more like shuffling - to the song. I might upload the video of said dancing if I feel like it, ahahah.

Appearing as a special guest band was Mage Era, with their somewhat slower and ballad laden rock. I'm not much of a fan of slow ballad rock, so they were pretty alright from my side. The bassist, however was pretty funky, and I really like that.

The brutal Dir'en Grey tribute band, Strawberry Jam, starts the headbanging fest that is to last for the rest of the night. Some commented how they don't actually go for the real deal like the original band, but I suppose a tribute can only go so far. Still, no shirts thrown of the stage?

Those who don't get or can't stand metal would have probably went out by then. To those who are otherwise, headbanging is not only accepted - you could say that it is to be expected. Seriously, how could you listen to them and not get the urge to do so?

The cheetah patterned Temjin was the thirteenth (bet you lost count already eh?) to perform for the night. Apparently they have quite a strong fanbase, performing original non-Japanese music outside of convention and the sort.

The highlight was of course their cover of Satsugai off Detroit Metal City. Also, I experienced my first moshing here, although admittedly the song - not Satsugai, but another song - isn't as heavy as those of other band. I was afraid I was going to at least get bruised in the face, but it was cool.

The final performance off the event was from Drako'Zen, which was strictly a metalfest. People - present company included - were headbanging all the way, but the absence of moshing was somewhat a downer. You don't get crowd surfing either, but I guess there's so much you could ask eh?

I prefer Strawberry Jam over these guys, but the guitarist - it's the same dude who's on the poster by the way - was pretty awesome. Dat Ibanez.

Fortunately, no incident happened after the show was over (those who read the other post would know what I meant).

Overall, a very satisfying event, or as one guy said, 'it's a shame those that missed this, because everything about the concert is tight and excellent'. My only complaint is... why must it be Monday the day after the concert? I've never hated Monday more than this.

The rest of the pics at my FB album

Here's looking to Jrock Tamashii 3 next year. Hell yeah!

And 2 weeks later...

2011-10-10T22:14:00.001+08:00

The previous series of events that took place in the past 2 week would have normally prompted a blog post or two... but well, laziness and procrastination are my middle names after all...

Yuuka! ♥

To put it all shortly, I went to a fieldwork last week. Immediately after that was a meetup with the people from the last event I've been to... and then right on the day after was my convocation. The convocation was all right - not to say that I'm not thrilled, but I've got other things that is keeping my mind occupied.

Not to imply I'm still plagued with the worries as voiced out in the last post though; it's just that I'm looking forward to some series of events in the future. Either that, or I've turned into a serious pak cik (uncle) who is hard to excite, heh.

I actually refrained from using a Reimu picture, hah!

Also, it seems recently a lot of people that I know (even ones irl) are lamenting about how we're all slaves to 9 to 5 program, working like hell for the paper gods (I'm exaggerating of course, but you get the idea). Being in a working environment only recently - I've yet to proceed into my Master level study - I've come to realize more on more on this inescapable fact. But it's not as if you can do much about it, can you?

Unless of course, you're thinking of Fight Club and Tyler Durden and all... but that's a different story.

I've started thinking about where this blog have been heading since the start, and if I should go ahead and stick to a certain format, posting only so and so... but I figured that won't give me too much room to play around with different topics and themes, innit?

Anyway, I have another place for random writings now. Have a look at it, alright?

Also, I'm surprised not that many people are making noise about Moe Day, as compared to, say, The Strongest Day. Ah well, have a Kogasa while we're at it:

Until next time~

Dead. I'm dead

2011-09-29T23:03:00.002+08:00

Not only in the blogging sense, but in the oh-no-I'm-really-in-deep-shit-now.

First of all, I haven't had much time (or motivation) to linger long enough on the internet, let alone for reading all the blogs in my leisure time. A lot has happened, in which I'll summarize it as 'life happens'.

Secondly, I'm now trapped in a financial problem, and to solve it involves me being a bit demanding to my possible employer for my part time job, as a safeguard before I resume my master study (the deal is all on the basis of word of mouth, and I hope they could settle it in black & white).

Assuming everything on the job is settled, I'll have to move out from this college (which I had cunningly managed to stay despite not having paid the deposit at all - I'm really lucky they haven't started knocking down the door of the room...) to rent a house someplace near the office (I'd have to take a long train ride + expensive fare for cab if I wanted to go back and forth between this college and the office). I hope I could get both the job and an accommodation at the same time.

Thirdly, this is a minor thing, but my college wifi has now blocked good ol 'booru. Now, excuse me as I try all the method to bypass the idiotic censor...

You know. All the recent event really make me connect with Fight Club. Remind me to write something about it somewhere in the future, mm?

I have no guarantee when I could get back to blogging. Well, keep on writing, and I'll hopefully be resuming soon, OK?

EDIT: The company I'm doing my part time has an empty room they let their employee use if they so wish it. Probably a bit crampy and a bit lack of privacy, but it's free, and I don't have to worry about paying monthly rent... so yea!

Because there's beauty in violence.... have kemonomichi's Yuuka:

"Imagine," Tyler said, "stalking elk past department store windows and stinking racks of beautiful rotting dresses and tuxedos on hangers; you'll wear leather clothes that will last you the rest of your life, and you'll climb the wrist-thick kudzu vines that wrap the Sears Tower. Jack and the beanstalk, you'll climb up through the dripping forest canopy and the air will be so clean you'll see tiny figures pounding corn and laying strips of venison to dry in the empty car pool lane of an abandoned superhighway stretching eight-lanes-wide and August-hot for a thousand miles.

(...hey, I dunno why I exactly associate the quote with the picture there. Search me)

An awesome weekend, and a new chapter begins

2011-09-14T01:59:00.003+08:00

I'm writing this as my old sleeping very late tendency creeps back. Yay for the internet~

The writing on the wall #1

Last weekend was the time where spend with like-minded people, where not a single care was given to people who just don't get it.

...no it's not a revolution. I am of course talking about one of our local anime convention, Animangaki (one where I went to last year), which I had made a pitstop on my way to the university (I'm very opportunistic ain't I?). Unfortunately, I didn't take as many pictures this time around - I was a part of the event's volunteers - but I thought that this year was more exciting, seeing as I went lone wolf last time (I guess I'm not too shabby with people after all). We were manning a Touhou section, and the visitors coming in were pretty encouraging.

Some pictures off the event are as such (in which almost all are more or less taken by this one guy, Daus - thanks for taking the pictures man):

Some dudes watching PoFV

Them figures

Them plushies

Uh... Yukkuri shinne?

One of the few local Touhou arrangement, Shin at work

Hisoutensoku players

A view off the hall, Day 2

I think you know whozzat. So come on, take a guess why (or if you have a good idea already, who).

Just the reading off some rules before the Hisoutensoku match. Pretty entertaining.

Wriggle begs to be bullied ain't he?

The writing on the wall #2

Loots off the event. Light novel, audio CD, badge - these are local brew, yes!

It was tiring afterwards. Tiring, but awesome. In any case, we also had one day to recover our post-event blues. Some of us even got some irate lectures (classes? what are these classes you speak of....?) and employers (oh... shop's not opened yet?) to testify to it.

Thanks guys for making it an awesome weekend (plus one day off the weekdays, ahahah). Now, I'm really looking forward come this December...

And as for me right now? After the long (well, not really) break for about 2 month, it is time for me to jump back into academic life, continuing my higher education Master level (by research). It's a new chapter in my life, with all the uncertainty and impending pressure and expectations... and MY BODY IS READY.

A Patchy is I, in all but the name. And cuteness (pfttttt)

My thoughts on crossplaying

2011-09-04T01:12:00.004+08:00

What are the similarities between crossplaying and heavy metal music?

My answer is:

-Both are stereotyped and easily dismissed by the public
-Controversial
-People outside the scene just don't get it
-The proponents and fans could easily get too carried away
-There's a surprisingly strong circles and communities for both scenes
-I don't know the exact words in English, but in Bahasa Malaysia, we call them 'bajet ganas' - the rough translation would be the projection of an image to scare or disgust the public, whereas their actual personalities are the exact opposite
-To the principal upholders, it is awesome

Obligatory shuuzou picture

This post has actually been sitting in my draft since early this year, from what started out halfheartedly from 'le fffffuuuuuuuuu'. Somewhere along a couple of posts later, it moved along to a 'OK now that's just horribly wrong', and eventually reaching the 'yea I'm okay with this'. So this post have the whole of seven months for the thoughts to evolve. Cool.

And if you think I'm here to condemn or condone the practice, then you'd be mistaken. 'cause the only side I'm from is that of an active observer, right?

Right then.

And the beginning of thisl goes as such: Way back when I had more free times, I've been looking at some cosplay pictures, and not surprisingly, one theme kept on repeating every now and then: crossplaying.

I know that feels, Kogasa

And when you speak of these crossplayers, it basically come down to these two:

#1: Those that doesn't really hide the fact (or simply failed to do so) that they're guys who wear girls' costume (female to male crossplayers also counts, but they're not discussed here for obvious reason);
#2: Those who, to some extent, manage to fool us to think otherwise.

You know the ones.

There is actually a few reasons why I decided to resurrect this post from stagnancy.

The biggest one would be from what started as some random late night chat with a few fellow crossplayers. I couldn't remember exactly how we got the whole thing started, but pretty soon we were discussing about traps, crossplay experience (from their side, mind), tips, and a load of other unrelated topics. Of course, being the cat (read: curious) I was, I did some other background readings - cause I was too curious for my own good - and I found out that, hey, these stuff actually goes more than meets the eyes.

Take the thing itself in the first place. Get a guy who looks more on the feminine side, give him a dress, and you get a convincing (or at least passable) crossplaying, yes? So I thought - until I'm reminded that there are other items such as makeup, specialized clothes, facial expressions, and gestures to be considered about.

So, it's more than just putting on some frilly dresses - as someone put it, 'it's a physical activity'. There is surprisingly a lot that goes before all that: Pretty usual, normal stuff. Some pretty otherwise embarrassing things for the uninitiated. Some quite painful stuff. The show of creativity to solve some problems - I mean, rice? Pudding? (if you get what I meant there, it means you've been reading through some materials. Or probably experienced).

The overall effect of knowing all this is... well, a more understanding of some knowledge in which I'm not so sure of the long-term practical application from my side, I guess. Still, it ain't too bad getting some new information, eh?

I feel enlightened.

And that is for the what of crossplay. And as for the who - what of the crossplayers?

Sure, it's no big surprise that they receives more discrimination and sideway glances than the opposite gender counterparts (some have come to call it 'the rare occasion where society double standard works against men'), and this is without a doubt the place where the whole controversy of the subject originate - but it's not that there's much that could be done about this in the first place, isn't it? Then, why did they go ahead with it?

You might be interested to read this forum topic here, if you want to get some perspective from their side. Pretty interesting read; and besides, it's better than making wild guess on what goes on in their mind. Goes on to show the whole thing isn't as straightforward as some would make it to be.

Whatever it is, I don't think it's that easy for someone to actually be converted into crossplaying on their own accord. Some suggestions, coaxing, and encouraging words must have been included somewhere along the line.

Because some might eventually say, 'OK, so what's about your own experience on this?', my side of story is this: on the first anime convention that I've been to, I had the chance of seeing a crossplayer right smack in front of me (or perhaps two - on the account of an almost similar experience with Kogasa there). It was perhaps something to be expected, sure, no surprise about that -what I'm more surprised was how accepting the crowd was at that time. Of course there's the occasional 'hey, that's a dude!' and 'dude, don't be flashing your armpits like that!', but that's it.

It changed my perception on how onlookers view those crossplayers. Of course, for the not so good ones...

I'm... okay with this (up to a point anyway)

What I failed to mention so far on why I've taken so much interest in the subject in the first place is because of the nature of the Touhou series. Well, nothing to really be surprised about there, since, well, practically all the characters are girls, with the exception of a shopkeeper, a fist-throwing cloud, turtle, swordman, cat, catfish, and some nameless faeries and random enemies (unless if I missed someone/thing there).

So for the opposite gender, when it comes to cosplaying the characters, it's either a) pick any of the exceptions; b) genderswap; or c) crossplay.

Very tricky, the third option. You've seen worse pictures than the above, perhaps. So bad that it made this one looks pretty acceptable:

Of course, you'd very much find this happening in other series too, but you'll have to be foolhardy (or just unlucky) if you really want to come across them.

In my opinion, the Japanese are probably still the best when it comes to get the job done well. Case in point: this Alice. You'd best believe it's a guy, no kidding!

Her- I mean, his Curecos page

Although personally, if you want to see something more amazing, there's the Byakuren cosplay. OH YE GOD DAT BYAKUREN. OHHH.

Meanwhile, elsewhere you get those... well, you know. I don't wanna vomit blood by forcing myself to find those pictures. It's there in the 'net for you to relish. Ohoho yes.

Well, what is there to say about them at the end of it all? That they got the balls to do it? (I apologize for this horrible pun, but it's just inevitable) That you should be highly suspicious whenever you saw what appears to be a girl cosplaying? That whenever you go to cons, mindfuck are mandatory?

Um. I'm actually out of coherent thoughts to go on about this, except that the whole thing gives me the hebejebes while at the same time amaze me. Like so:

my faces when I see crossplay pictures

So then. Have a nonomy while you're at it. Most probably a coincidence, but doesn't the pose remind you of a certain overused fad off the 'net? (except that she's - screw it, the gender is a lie! - too elegant to be conceited, eheh)

Massive Attack

2011-08-27T04:23:00.001+08:00

Just doing a short post to get around my problem of not being able to fall asleep early enough. Probably I'm not making much sense, but I tried.

Massive Attack. Now, how could I be drawn to these duo (then trio) that pioneered the Trip-hop genre, way back in their town in Bristol, when I was into fast-sounding rock and metal music?

The truth was, way back in 2005, I found a review in magazine about the band, and I thought, 'wow, that's a pretty cool name for a band. And dark trip-hop sound? I wonder if it is as good as it sounds...'

Their first two releases, Blue Lines and Protection, didn't really stuck to my fancy when I first listened to them. But after I gave them subsequent listening, I thought that the music was dope and relaxing. The way how the female vocals go over the beats of the drums and bass, the occasional tracks with the reggae-tinged vocal off Horace Andy, and the whispering voice of 3-D and rough deep voice of Daddy G... it's really great. The tracks are really good for just chilling and whatnot, although personally I prefer Blue Lines over Protection; in my opinion the tracks there are more solid. Protection was just so-so for me.

Both makes good listening for sometimes 3 o'clock in the morning tho, I'll have to admit. Very relaxing.

I love this song

I think movie buff might appreciate this video

Now their 3rd album, Mezzanine, is what I considered to be their masterpiece. Starting with the rocking Angel, the albums doesn't fail to disappoint me throughout the tracks. That feel when I listen to them early in the morning, with me lying down in my bed, with the mood of the tracks which changes throughout the whole album... At one moment you're following the repetitive bassline on Risingson, next moment it's the haunting Teardrop, before it shifted into the Middle-East influenced Inertia Creeps.

And it's not only about the sound too. I remember going through the lyrics of Teardrop, and how it might be all about abortion. I'm sure there are many possible interpretation to that song, but I entertained the idea (and still am - I mean, why do you think the video is as such?)

Or... how about the lyrics off Inertia Creeps? Go on, read it and tell me what you think. Bet you're thinking of that one word, right?

She comes
I make no sound in my eider-down
Awake I lie in the morning's blue
Room is still my antenna in you
Nylon burns the bedspread with two
Gravity's zero see me stall
I bounce off walls lose my footing and fall
It can be sweet though incomplete though
And the frames will freeze
See me on all four's
It's been a long time

Both videos also rather bothered the hell out of me when I first watched them. And that is what makes them pretty awesome in my book. Have you ever seen other songs which addresses the issues in such a way? (with both themes being present in the same album, nonetheless). Guess sometimes you need something to really grab people attentions to get you into it, mm?

To be honest, they failed to really knock me out after Mezzanine. 100th Window somehow lacked that organic sound present in their earlier works, and it seems that they have left behind their blues and hip-hop sound to move for darker electonic-tinged music. Perhaps not surprising, since only one member - 3D - was present during the production.

I'll still give the album a credit for instilling a sense of paranoia and insecure. This is an album for you to be paranoid when walking through the developed cities.

God, this is a different level of scary from the ones off Mezzanine

Now, I know some might prefer Massive's more trip-hop/dub/reggae sound, but I think one of their best work would be False Flags. The click of lighter right in the beginning, the political lyrics, the video of a homeless(?) person burning down the EU (correct me if I'm wrong there), and that one bit off Radiohead's The Bends... it's not really the typical fare off Massive, but I love it.

And with their return to a more soulful and organic sound, Heligoland is certainly something to look forward after a seven year hiatus since 100th Window. Or so I thought - for I find the album to be somewhat inferior to Blue Lines and Protection. Maybe it has something to do with how I had hoped they'd return to something which can top off Mezzanine, or maybe because I have been going for more heavier songs then, but the songs doesn't leave too much of an impression to me. Not enough to make me want go for repeated listening, anyway.

I guess I'll just have to go through the songs more, since the songs aren't all that bad. Preferably during the early mornings (such as now), mmhm.

Project Light Wood

2011-08-23T23:12:00.001+08:00

Yea, I don't even...

Monday, August 15, 2011.

Project Light Wood was initiated as a means of psychology experiment to study the effect of the retracting of heavy metal and hard rock music from a hopeless metal head. The idea was to see if there was a correlation between a feeling of restlessness and depression with the continuous listening to the aforementioned genre of music. The experiment will go on for a week, with immediate effect from the 15th of August to the early morning of 22nd of August.

The name of the project is a play on the word Heavy Metal - for what else is a better counterpart to metal than the light yet solid and sturdy wood?

During these periods, any subgenre that falls under Heavy Metal (Power Metal, Doom Metal, Progressive Metal, just to name a few) will be consciously avoided. Any dark sounding rock music (e.g. Stoner Rock) is also included in the list. Some of the groups/circles to not be played throughout the week include Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, CROW'SCLAW, Demetori, and Sleep.

To make this task easier, these music are segregated by strategic means of putting them away in seperate folders.

-Off my Facebook page

So, it's pretty self-explanatory there. I've pretty much stop listening to anything related to Heavy Metal or Hard Rock for the last one week.

There are some occasional breaking of the rules tho; for example:
-Led Zeppelin/Black Sabbath mashup (it was too good to pass)
-Massive Attack live performance (technically not Heavy Metal or Hard Rock, but the music is pretty dark)
-Om's live (but to be honest, I just listened to barely half of the whole song, so yeah)
-Sleep's cover (I was too curious to see how Dopesmoker could be covered)

These, and besides the occasional air guitaring, I've pretty much avoided listening to full blown heavy (as it is) music.

Now, what I didn't state explicitly in that long wall of post was that whenever I feel really down - depressed, like - then I almost subconciously switched forward to some metal tracks. The heavier and more brutal the songs are, the more I would listen to it with religious attention.

Case in point? Demetori's Heian Alien ~ Crazy Xenomorph is one my favourite track in times of depression.

The Meshuggah-inspired riff never fails to get me headbanging. And gnash my teeth. It's one of those songs where I couldn't listen to it without feeling at least... something. Something primeval and ugly. Definitely not a song of sunshine and blue skies. But it is a song of a sexy, pantyhose-wearing alien, yeap.

The second example is Sleep's Holy Mountain:

If Crazy Xenomorph is all about aggression, this song, with it's overall dope-y atmosphere and abstract lyrics really takes you through the dark maze of your mind... and you feel like you're being enlightened somewhat. I don't know if I'm even making sense there, but the songs just take you through the eight minutes, if you're really into it. Doesn't really end up making you feel angry or having any killer intent, but it sure doesn't do much in giving you a feel-good-happy-time. This is the kind of song that'd actually give you an impression that the band was high and smoked-up when recording it (which I think isn't far from the truth).

The most striking result off the experiment is this: I can safely say there's a high correlation between my depression and listening of heavy metal (as well as sleep deprivation, but that's a different story). There are many instance of my bout of depression actually being amplified when I indulge in some of the heavy sound (as shown by previous example). Of course, different people who listen to Heavy Metal might have differing opinions. Human nature is a weird thing like that - what works for one person might go the total opposite for another one.

So, umm. What of the one episode I had which culminate in the last rambling? Well, with the removal of heavy metal from the picture, I had no choice but to face the problem head on. I talked with some people and said, yes, I'm feeling the blues, and it ain't doing me no good. I didn't shut myself out of the problem, leaving it to fester behind the brutal and heavy sound. It's something almost... therapeutic really, when you stop pretending you're all that tough-and-brutal, and you just... connect with people. It kinda makes you feel somewhat vulnerable, but the feeling afterward is quite a relief.

And with that being said, does it really mean heavy metal is all that bad for one's well being? That it's truly 'the Devil's music?'. Well, on one hand, it is true on the way some seek comfort in it (think of it as an ad-hoc relief), and that it doesn't really help in alleviating the problem (in some case, it might even enhance it) in the long run.

But on the other hand, some metal songs just, if you really listen to it at certain moods, it just end up making you feel really good. Take CROW'SCLAW's Hibernation Sickness (yes, for some reason most of the metal songs are Touhou arrangement, not surprisingly):

Just listen to the part from 2:25 to 3:05. The sound of the guitar being played with only the keyboard accompanying it is just... it gives off a sense of you being trapped somewhere under a blanket of snow and frost in a snowy land where it's all white over the horizon... and yet, over the whole solitude and loneliness, it really feels like there's actually hope, and you're just biding your time until it's spring. Far from making you depressed with the overall loneliness implied by the song, you could also feel really lifted up from listening to this, if you think of about it.

Or how about Hallowed Be Thy Name, from my all-time metal gods, Iron Maiden?

Clocking at 8 minute, the song lyrics is pretty straightforward - someone who is off to be send to the gallows. You take that sombre subject, but you add the melodious guitar riff and solo, and you'll be taken through 8 minutes before you know it. You forgot that it's all about someone who's off to be executed, for heavens' sake, and you just let the music takes you to the end. It shows how the theme of death doesn't need to be all that, well, despairing and doom. If you ask me, this song is not so much about death itself, but it's about... being free. The narrator goes from anger, disbelief, fear, before everything falls apart, and the reality of the situation is accepted. This is a perfect example of how a song needs to be strong both sonically and lyrically.

...OK. The point is from that rambling is, you take heavy metal, and you could either go for sounds which are dark, harsh and brutal, or you go for the melodious, sophisticated, and self-empowering ones. Take it at face value, and it's a music for the angry and restless crowd, but go deeper, and it can be surprisingly emotional, tender... and liberating.

To conclude, a few key points I learned off this short experiment are:

1) Metal music could only empower you up to a point. It's a double edged sword - it could get you all riled up and energized, but it could backfire by feeding your negative energy. In the face of depression, connecting with others remains the best method in the long run.

2) Metal is not all about headbanging, screaming, and non-sophisticated sound. It could also be highly emotional, if you look beyond the harsh and loud sound. See 1).

3) Heavy metal is just one of the many self defense mechanism that I employ in the face of mental (and physical?) adversaries. A break from metal music once in a while is not a bad thing at all, really. Hell, there's always other stuff to really get me going: easy listening, funk, blues, good ol rock n roll, and jazz, to name a few.

And then there's also something EPIC like Orchestra:

A very surprising find off C80. I feel so ashamed for not having heard of them before.

Another surprise find from C80. I think I've found another kind of Touhou arrangement genre to listen extensively to...

4) And of course, the most important lesson would be that Heavy Metal is not everyone's cup of tea. Say what I might on how heavy metal have affected my thoughts and feelings, but it's there to remain in my favourite genre. Jazz may make me chill, easy listening made me to take things easy, and blues gives me the, well, blues... But, at the end of the day, there's just some honesty, power, masculinity, and energy in Heavy Metal that makes it stand out from the rest of other genre.

Ironically, one of the album title off C80 goes by the title "Never get away from HEAVY METAL" (by Icarus'cry). HELL YEAH.

I'll just end this by a quote off the brilliant documentary, Metal: A Headbanger's Journey:

Ever since I was 12 years old I had to defend my love for heavy metal against those who say it's a less valid form of music. My answer now is that you either feel it or you don't. If metal doesn't give that overwhelming surge of power that make the hair stand up at the back of your neck, you might never get it, and you know what? That's okay, because judging by the 40,000 metalheads around me we're doing just fine without you.
-Sam Dunn

YES

Why would I share something personal with people on the internet?

2011-08-20T04:47:00.001+08:00

Title says it all. And THAT is precisely what I'm going to do here.

The usual familiar style of rambling and long winded words when writing posts of these natures.

[This was written on the whim yesterday morning, after I stayed up for something like 20+ hours. Probably I'm not making much sense then, but I'm not bothered with the cleanup and editing. I'll just post this one up and leave it here. Time to move on...]

You know, I am very, very fearful of the idea of having close relationship with others (i.e. intimacy). The fear is rooted in the word 'hurt': I don't feel like hurting myself, or the other side. For as much selfish and uncaring as what my aura might project, the aspect of hurting other just... bothers the hell out of me. Hell, I'd rather take all the hurting if that's what it takes not to hurt the other person, if it comes to that.

And so I subconsciously pushed people away from me. Maybe not by being a cold harsh-mouthed bastard, but sometimes, when it comes down to it, I couldn't help but realize how I seemingly gives off the aura that I dislike or doesn't want anything to do with the other person(s)... when actually it's the opposite way around.

I don't know. I had a rather lengthy talk with a certain online friend of mine about my current problem, and when he mentioned how keeping too much secrets makes it much harder for you to hide your true colour... I straightaway thought, THAT nails it right in the head.

In real life, I'm that quiet reserved secretive guy. Too much secretive in fact that if I died and then came back to life, I might be able to continue on 'living' for the rest of my 'life' without this fact being made known to the people around me. But of course, that's just a hyperbole, and I'm very much alive until this day, thank you for asking.

So getting back to the title: I am not big on opening up about myself - in real life more so, and online, it only concern certain people. Probably the biggest reason is the thought that 'I'm just a nobody; who the hell would care about my problem anyway?'. But really, if it comes down to it... don't you ever read about someone else's problem, and you said, 'hey, I know exactly what you mean'. Well? Does that mean that despite the feeling that you're all alone against the world, somewhere else is someone who knows exactly what you're feeling, and would bother to listen to your problems with nary a complaint?

I know for one thing that I'd certainly would sit down and listen to someone else's problem - so why is it then that I'm reluctant to play the reverse role? I think that has something to do with me having what it takes to listen, BUT to give advices or to help directly is... well, most of the time I'd feel so flustered and helpless just hearing about it that I'd have to sit down for a long time to even make a small comment or two.

What is it about online communication that makes some of us readily share our problem? (as I'm doing it right now) On one hand, the internet can bring out the worst of people, but on the other hand... you could connect with people you barely know, and yet you feel very much like home (see what I said just now about having a close understanding of someone else's plight). Because despite all the anonymousity, the distance, the lack of real physical touch... you could reach an amazing level of connecting with another person, so to speak.

Although, if you ask me personally, nothing beats the real thing - nothing better than a shoulder to cry on, as they say. There's only so much you could pour out in the 'net. And if you ask me... I'd very much like a hug every now and then. Or maybe something else that is physical - a handshake, a pat, a headbutt, fisting (not to the face). A caress...

I'll tell you this much: I don't usually feel like writing some of the things I mention here. Why? Because, well, it'd make me look like I'm just a hopeless and helpless person who can't do anything but complain, isn't it? And who would read it and care about what's going with me - in the age where nobody likes reading a windy non-linear writing on a person's predicament?

Maybe. Maybe it doesn't have to be that way. Is it wrong to hope that, despite feeling utterly alone, out there, someone is thinking about you?

Heck, I do think about some people I don't know much other than what s/he shares on the internet, and I can't be considered someone who is perfectly understanding and empathic. Can we bet on it that someone out there, someone who is more caring and kind, is thinking about someone else, even when the second person felt that s/he's on his/her own against the world?

And now consider if the second person decided to do something drastic, or if s/he changes her life completely on the assumption that no one cares about him/her... That can make you feel quite depressed and sad when you think hard about it, isn't it?

In any case: there I have said it. If anything, this serves as my ad-hoc relief. Might as well get it out of the system than keeping it locked up, where it then festers to become a real serious problem. It is written here then, to validate my feelings and thoughts, and to just point it out that, yes, I'm feeling unhappy and upset, and if anyone out there feels the same way... that I know exactly what you're going through.

Usually I'd construct these kind of posts in a way that I'm asking for some kind of feedback, but from here on I've decided to really stick to it and write for the sake of writing and self-expression. Mm.

On the same note, I'll also add that it is perhaps not surprising that sex is something that can make me rather uncomfortable. Sure I could think and imagine all sort of perverty stuff, but the real thing itself, it does seems to me that they are quite pai-

...yes I'm sure you could fill in the rest. S-shut up; I don't want to talk about it! (at least, not in here, not now).

Bare necessities

2011-08-13T12:30:00.001+08:00

Paradoxically, staying at home lately have made me to stay away more from the internet - solitude at its best innit?

Another strange paradox is how I don't spend as much time on some other equally time-consuming past time (read: internet lurking and animu watching). And what did I make out of all this? It made me ponder on certain aspects in which some people simply can't live with - some more severe once they experience withdrawal from these, some not so.

You know the usual list - sleep (as a past time activity), music, video games, internet, and... 'Fixed Action Patterns'. Food, drink, clothes, and shelter doesn't count - since these are the basic of the basic necessities as we know it.

And my lists? Without any particular order, they are:

1) Music

No music, no life. Period. With that being said, it gets pretty dreary when I'm stuck in a place heavens knows where, without the presence of my laptop (I don't have any MP3 players and the like). Solution? Out of tune (imaginary) instruments and off key vocals a-go.

Remind yourself to spare some earplugs when you're stuck with me up in the wilderness with no form of music player. Seriously.

2) Book

I'm a selective reader (you'd be surprised at how specific the selection of my books), but if I don't have contact with a book (or two) to read for a while, I'll go restless. On a particularly boring and uneventful day, I could even pick up some so-so book and kill my time reading them. Can't say I have it in me to finish them tho (sorry Dickens, but your story is so sloooow).

3) A place to jolt down my thoughts

I never fancied myself a writer, but every now and then I need a place to just write down what crosses the mind (as seen from the creation of this blog). Whether it is just some casual observation, some analysis, or just something which just screams out 'Fuck You' (thanks be to the heavens I don't actually post on the whim), it comes as being quite habitual.

And if I could connect with similar minded person through the on-the-go ramblings... well, that's pretty good and everything, don't you think so?

Surprisingly, the internet doesn't make it in the list; it'd be a different case if it was, say... five to three years ago, when internet was not merely a luxury, but a necessity to me. Guess that's what life can do to you, eh?

What are your bare necessities?

Comiket 80 music albums - the wait

2011-08-09T00:14:00.004+08:00

As with all the previous events, the music albums released by the doujin circles are always what I look forward to. Heck, I'd even fork some cash for some of those delicious album over figures any time of the day! Alas, the monies (or rather, the lack of it)...

Some albums which caught my interests would be:

CROW'SCLAW is releasing an EP, with one original new track and two vocal pieces off their last original album, Blacker Than The Blackest Black. I need no other reason to check this work other than IT'S FUCKING TAKA CERTIFIED.

Crossfade

Iron-Chino. I might complain on how you keep on dishing albums without stopping, but I'll be damnest to check out all your new work without fail.

I hear a clear influence off Iron Maiden here. Oh, you.

Crossfade

Is Bach in sync with Iron-Chino? 'cause besides the previously mentioned Angel Mountain, THOUSAND LEAVES is coming out with mostly Mountain of Faith arrangement album. This is looking good, and is certainly giving Iron-Chino a run for the money.

Crossfade

If IRON ATTACK! and THOUSAND LEAVES are going for Mountain of Faith arrangement, UI-70 goes accoustic for Perfect Cherry Blossom. A good break from the couple of metal arrangement for the last few albums (with the occasional techno thrown here and there).

Crossfade

Unlucky Morpheus is going jazzy and bluesy for their newest album after a 2 year hiatus. Some smart aleck might be tempted to point out that Fuki is absent on this album (and rejoicing at that)... but to each his own, mm?

Hailed as 'Frozen Frog all over again' by a random person off the interwebst (I loved that album by the way), this is going to be something interesting to go through. Oh, and Heavy Metal Be-Bop? How does that work, I wonder.

Crossfade

Yellow Zebra returns is coming out with two album for this Comiket: one with only Yuki on the tracks, the other with Ucchi alongside (only two tracks, sadly enough). I was honestly quite disappointed upon hearing the lack of Ucchi on the second album, but at least she's not altogether missing from the circle. More Ucchi on the tracks isn't a bad thing tho.

Crossfade #1

Crossfade #2

EDIT (11/8/11): Buta Otome is releasing two albums!!

Buta-Otome never fails to disappoint me. From the sound of it, this album isn't an exception. I'm looking forward to hearing the full version of the Heian Alien arrangement.

Crossfade #1

Crossfade #2

Other albums I'd be looking forward to would be some joint album (with Buta Otome on one of them), Pizuya's Cell, SYNC.ART'S, and TatshMusicCirle (which I'm slowly listening to them haha).

I'm sorely disappointed that Demetori isn't releasing any new stuff for this Comiket, but I guess it can't be helped.

My ears are ready

EDIT: I totally forgotten that Ten Desires is to be released this Comiket (I thought they are to be out for the winter Comiket)...

S-shut up! I'm a Slowbro, I know.

Mandatory Ramadhan post (2011 ver) / How am I blogging?

2011-08-01T16:16:00.001+08:00

As with last year, I'll just write this post to dedicate to the fasting month of the Muslim calendar.

Yuyuko is not happy about it

Honestly I'm not going to jump into the whole I-am-religious-on-this-month bandwagon that apparently a lot of people are riding into. But if they're very much serious on turning over a new leaf, then good for them.

As for me... ahh, who am I going to kid about being religious. What I figured I'll do is, I'll use this chance to do something about my fiery temper/depression/panic - you know, since a hungry stomach makes a... calmer man?

Or maybe the other way around for some, heh.

Let's cool it, bro

I was browsing through some of my older posts and noticed one worrying trend: it is the fact that I write best when it comes to those rants/angry/depression posts. Sometimes a bit too 'good' for those kind of posts even (who the heck beats around the bushes instead of saying 'fike these worthless living creatures!').

But on the bright side, they let me to unwind myself and write something (even though the subject in question is myself - narcissistic much?). I might have strayed far from the original reason this blog was created - that is, a quasi-academical and analytical tool for the various events around me - but paradoxically, it has become a place where I can write something personal and YET connect with other like minded people.

Ah, I'd like to write these few things which are on my mind right now...

So yes, in case those certain people are reading this - I miss reading through some of the blogs. Whatever happened to Kirari and Chiyo's Dad blog? And for the other citizens of blogosphere who are still standing and going steady - how have your blog changes since its inception? Is the drive still there?

In any case, I'll be rather preoccupied for the next one month. Until then...

Take it easy everyone~

I'm scared now (like a confused teenager, raging at the world/like a tired man, disconted at the world)

2011-07-24T04:10:00.001+08:00

I don't know what the hell is going on with my life. I have been so uncertain, so confused, so... scared at what is going around right now (or rather, what is to come). And when I think about it, I'm too old to pass as a rebellious teen, nor am I too old to be a disgruntled man that seen all the worst that life could pass.

This is going to put off many people (hell, as if my usual ranting posts weren't enough - I am so sorry that this place have to step so low and become a bitching hole for me), but some things I just wanted to let it out. Besides, I need to clear my mind of all these negativity in preparation for next month.

So, urm, what's my face reaction at this point, I wonder. Like a man about to pour forth some sort of confession? An apathetic face? So frustrated that I wanted to cry?

Heavens know why I can't flip on the ignorant-is-bliss switch in my mind...

Incidentally, I got a Koishi for this random quiz on EX Stage Touhou characters. I thought it'd make a nice filler here, heh.

So on to the real meaty chunk of this 'oh god there he goes again' post: Last Wednesday, on my mostly solitary 9 hours train trip, I had plenty of time to suss out the state of my not so sunny and merry mind. And this result in a lengthy seven page scribbles, where whatever thoughts that came to me was jotted down (it was obviously written with this blog in mind, as you'll gleam from certain phrases and words). I'll just go ahead and copy it down, without any editing (save for the usual picspamming):

I'm fucking scared now

And so as I am one step closer to finishing my Degree in Science at this prestigious (that’s what they always sell) local university, I am feeling a sense of not relief… but overwhelmed by UNCERTAINTIES.

It is not a mere passing thought, that I had written that one rather random post on uncertainty – although admittedly I could have ‘cut the crap’, so to speak, and just get on with the real deal – which I would now like to stress. That I am terribly afraid of the future.

Holden Caulfield once commented that money ‘always end up making you blues as hell”. And let us face it – its what keeps us on turning. If you wanted to talk about an all-prevailing dark, terrible religion, then it would be the worship of money… but it is not my place to discuss that here. Sufficient it is to say that money is god; ergo, money is power.

Now. I noticed that majority of the people on my blogs’ lists faces even greater uncertainties – some of you are even NEETing, goodness me! And me? I will pass through NEET-dom in a short while. Cool, no problem with that.

But what comes after that truly scares me. I’m not gonna beat around the bushes there.

Allow me to give some possible scenario which could unfold: I could have straight away worked; or I could continue ay Master level – in which I could either be doing it research-based, classroom based, both either local or oversea; or I could pick up a guitar, shred like a boss, and don’t give a damn.

OK, so the last one is definitely out (although if I were to do it, I’d probably shave off all my hair and wear a funky glasses – you dig?)

I’m not gonna ask for anyone’s opinion on my choices (but if you have any free advice on it – then I thank you), but I thought I’ll just elaborate it here. You know, so that it would look coherent and all.

If I opted for work, I’d very much like to do something related to environment, engineering, or mining – as opposed to petroleum, which is more or less what most would-be graduates have in mind.

The problem is securing the job in the first place – you’d damn need some good connections to secure a position, what’s with all those currently unemployed geology graduates fighting for those jobs. Or you might end up doing something not even related to geology.

Since I am now very much early in my twenties, I figured I’ll continue my Masters, what’s with all the momentum going on. Here (in my university) I have two choice: 1) do an intensive, rigid, fixed, but overall safe classroom-based coursework, which would take only a year, or 2) do a flexible, but highly uncertain research-based coursework, which could take as less as a year or up to three to four years.

I am a lumbering, eccentric, book-smart person who took solace in tweaking around with various things, and I very much like the concept of ‘hands-on’ and trial-and-error. So doing a research based course seems like a good bet for a dreamy, scholar-wannabe like me. You could lambast this as seeking an intellectual refuge from the highly vicious and complex ‘outside world’.

Well, is it all that bad? Is it just that, despite the age I am living in, I had a very backward ancient way on how the world works? Maybe. Maybe I’m a dreamer… who will soon awake to the cold hard world where money do all the talking. I know that I couldn’t stay the same kid who is safely insulated from the ravages of the ‘outside world’…

I have a feeling that the time for me to give up on the ad-hoc relief ‘medications’ is high… and just thinking about it drives me to a corner in despair because I know how ice-cold the truth is.

And then, when I end up smelling either like a sweet rosy baby, or as a toilet bowl which had mysteriously exploded, then will all my doubt on this whole uncertainties be removed?

I still bloody get my ulcers bleeding over this whole thing. I could have easily picked up apathy and let life do whatever it wants with me. I’m still… optimistic, albeit with rage, fear, confusion, pain, and discontent thrown for good measure. Does I have what it takes to make this big decision for myself? Every man must make his own bed and lie on it – isn’t it written somewhere?

But there I go. At the end of the day, no matter how long I rant about this, no matter who I aimed this for, it still come out as a statement of ‘I am afraid of the world and all the uncertainties that it holds’.

The question is not ‘what if?’, but rather, ‘how?’. How am I going to see it through? How can I stop running around in circles and grain some footings on certainties? How will this post help me in the long run?

Oh Nue-chan, how I learned to fear and love you. You are so… alien (pun intended); my personal anthromorphism of the greatest fear of men (besides chaos and death)… yet I get a feeling that your manifestation made this world an interesting place to live and to die for.

Do as you like. Beat the daylight out of me – it’d be good for me to realise how uncertainty runs the show.

Death – now THAT’S certain.

'tis done!

2011-07-16T02:10:00.000+08:00

So today marks the submission of my final year project.

Never mind the fact that I still have to wait for the feedback from the lecturer - this is freedom!

Flychouli~

So on that note, enjoy some random pictures on my work progress, a few hours before the submission:

Three copies of the report, before they are compiled

The geological map of the study area

A full view of the map, with some parts censored for, uh... protection of sensitive data? (whatever that means)

My 'experience' (nope, they're not 'failures) #1: The papers that didn't make the cut into the final report

My 'experience' #2: The first few version of the maps before the final one

Well, that's all I feel like writing for now (it's 2 in the morning, and I feel quite sleepy). Next post will either be a picdump, or I'll get to that introversion post that I was talking about prior.

Till then, it's time for me to resume my zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

This is not a revolution!

2011-07-09T08:21:00.002+08:00

Today on the 9th of July, the city will be busy, as the clash of all four colours of Jalur Gemilang will take place - in the streets, houses, blocks, buildings... in the hearts and minds of the people...

And me? I'm siding myself with the white team. That's right, I'm just sitting here in my room, trying to finish the writeup to my project (which is due next week, by the way).

Crappy photoshop work

But I'm not here to talk about the whole issue of the rally, on how unlawful our government is. Rather, this'll be a random MY BLOG post. But, for the sake of those who are interested, I'll put up bits of pictures (and even a video) near the end.

Last week I had a seminar where I presented the progress of my project so far. It went better than I expected - sure I umm and ahh here and now, but overall I didn't messed it up too bad or anything. And the questions were pretty easy too; I was expecting they'll hand over some of those 'oh-no-I-don't-know-what-the-heck-the-answer-is' questions.

Although right in the middle of my presentation, the computer restarted itself and won't let me log in. Not my fault though, as it was the department's PC... In a way, perhaps it was a blessing in disguise, for the lecturers overlooked the fact that I exceed a bit of my allocated time for presentation.

But the most crazy thing about it was the fact that I spend the whole day prior to the presentation hanging out with some fellow Touhou fans at that one maid cafe. They were having a Touhou theme week at that time, and I thought I'd just give them a visit, even if I think the price is bloody expensive. It work well, in de-stressing me and all.

Gensokyo roundtable meeting (sorta). Guess where I am in the frame~

And now, getting back to the rally thingie:

To make it short, a group of people who are dissatisfied with the way our election is carried out is planning a peaceful protest in the city today. But when you add a very paranoid and you-can't-topple-us government, ardent pro-government bodies, police officers, and endless tales of denouncement, threatening, and fear mongering (add some religious sentiment in there too), and you can bloody well be sure that it won't be anything but peaceful.

A list of their operatives. #4 and #12-14 is bad news.

Yes, that's a rifle you're seeing there

The men in blues have gathered in my campus for a few days, and I managed to catch a glimpse of them heading out to the city:

It's gonna be one fine day indeed...

But enough with the rally. I am not interested to get hold up and interrogated (or worse) by the men in blue, so I'm just quietly spending my weekend here in my room. Not that I'm the type to go out during the weekend anyway...

So with all the necessary random stuff being talked, it's time for me to work on some of the more significant (whatever that means) posts. There's been a couple of topics that are sitting in the backlog, and I thought I'd put them up online. You know, on the account that I don't have much to do besides writing for my project.

Some of the topics I have in mind include:
-Preferences
-Introversion
-Bass guitar
-Metal music
-Society
-Equality of man
-Crossplaying

Some of these will be lengthy, some of it will be rather short. Any of the topic you'd like me to write sooner than the others?

Welp, this turns out longer than what I planned. Have a good weekend everyone.

It's ok Patchy, I don't like all the noise taking place outside too

Just feelin' the monday blues

2011-07-04T19:39:00.001+08:00

You know one thing I quite hate?

It's when people ignore you/don't give to hoots about you - when you say something to them, I mean.

Because it makes me think of two things:

1) Am I not making it clear that I except some sort of reaction/feedback from the other party?
2) The other person don't care about me at all.

I'm quite particular about this sort of thing. I might not make a big fuss over it, but when I get these kind of treatments, I feel it man. You might say I'm an attention whore... though I think I'm not as much as an attention whore as some people (I don't make 'those' kind of posts on FB... at least, I don't think so). I'm just a straightforward guy that at least expect when I give A, then you give B.

On the other hand, yes, I am quite reserved - I'm not the type who goes 'oh hey, how do you do?', or 'oh, what's that?' (something more prevalent in social websites) - but I'm not exactly the 'don't talk much, even when someone is asking him something' (in real life). I am a firm believer of 'think before you speak' - and if that gives me the impression of being too withdrawn or anything, then fine. Trust me, if I was ever to speak before I think, you'd find that I'm one negative, depressing and angry person.

But back on the topic: what gives? How come when I sometimes said something - and I meant saying it not in a rash way or anything - and yet those no-answers answers are still thrown at my face? Sometimes it makes me feel invisible, or tiny, or just not there at all. Try it sometimes, and see if it annoys you.

Those who like to keep communication to a minimum might view this as not a big issue, but it does bother me. So... what's the problem here then? My skewed view on communication? Self esteem problem? My oversensitivity? And by mentioning all those possible causes, what then? Go for a total change into extrovert, and become all annoying and loud? Be sarcastic when those replies - or rather the absence of it - are given? Take it like a bro and don't give a damn?

Bahh, I really feel like I should continue sticking to my guns - in not giving a flying fig about other people - and abide by the saying that 'missing a train is only painful if you run after it.' See, that's why I can't get myself to groove in with the mass' opinion (or just the mass in general); it's more painful when you can't get by with them... but that's another story altogether.

Yes, this is a more or less ranting post. And, by God, this post does make me sound more like an attention whore than anything. Well, it's not like I'm actually complaining to someone (as a few people tend to do when they get these kind of things), so I guess it's not too bad. In any case, it's my blog anyway, so yeah!

All this talking makes me feel like writing a bit on introversion later. That has been a subject that interests me ever since I was aware of my own state.

Happy Monday, everyone.

Can I play with madness?

2011-07-03T18:05:00.001+08:00

Ever had that time where you woke up in the morning, and you just sit there at your bed for a couple of minutes, thinking... what have you done so far through this point of your life. Thinking... about what the distant future have in store with you. And then, you think some more about this over breakfast.

In fact, you might then engage yourself in yet another dreary routine of the day, pretending that it is not something that is worth pursuing your thought. But, without realizing it, that thought is still there, nagging at the back of your mind.

Yes, well I'm going exactly through that yesterday, except that I woke up during the afternoon (3 PM ish). And that it's Saturday, so it took me a much longer time to get into my daily routine for the weekend (which, since the beginning of my final year project writing, has been more or less spending the first 2-3 hours on the internet, watching some random videos, being in a chat with some cool, annoying, so-and-so, and what-have-you people... and only then, I resume the work for my final year project writing).

And thus I have effectively summarised what has been going on for the last couple of weeks (and which will no doubt continue for the next two weeks). But I'm not merely writing this to tell you how my daily routine have changed since I undertook the writing process of my final year project.

See, as I am getting closer and closer to the end of my project, I'm struck with a realization. A... dreadful premonition, if you would allow me to be dramatic. What I'm heading toward is a mixture of relief, and... something totally different.

For it struck to me that perhaps most - or dare I say, all - men and women have one big fear. It doesn't matter whether the person is highly religious, an atheist, a no-nonsense, pragmatic, practical, or whatever names they give themselves to imply that they could not be shaken by trivial matter - I believe that deep down, we fear the unknown.

For how could you tell with certainty what's going to happen in the next few hours, days, weeks, months, or years? As a child, I used to worry myself to sleep on how I'd turn out as I grow older (and hopefully, wiser). That may be dismissed as being the fear of a child who has no idea how the world works. But as we grow older, does that mean we are more certain on how the future will be for us?

On the contrary, I think the more knowledge we grasp, the more uncertain the future is to us. On hindsight, the image of the future envisioned by some of us when we are small are pretty simple - and honestly naive - when compared with the various projection given forward by the men of knowledge, be it on economic, social, environment, and a thousand and one fields. Who could forget all those times when we were asked (or when you think of it yourself) of what we would want to be when we are all grown up? Big house, big cars, good partners (regardless of your orientation)... the usual.

Perhaps it's no wonder why many people would no sooner pay their money to some questionable predictor of the future. And when I say predictor, this is not only limited to shamans and fortune teller; even men and women in suits, who talk about future economic growth, climate, and the likes are equal if you ask me.

Now you might point out that the latter group is more credible than mere scamming fortune tellers and shamans, but it is not my intention to attack their faulty projection of the future (not that I have much knowledge on this subject). The point here is that no matter what level of society you stand on, no matter how educated you are, and no matter how much money you make - there is that deep embedded instinct in you, that you want to reassure yourself about the future.

We want certainty - we want something where we can put our trust on, even if the source is dubious. Yes... we are all attracted to prediction and projection of the future. For isn't that what distinguish us from other species? Instead of just merely learning from the past, isn't it normal for us to try and predict future outcomes?

I apologize for getting on with a dreary but serious topic, after disappearing from this blog for a while. This has honestly bug me for a while - and I predict it will continue to be so for the rest of my life. So long as I'm human, I would of course worry about the future, the unknown, the unaccounted things in the great master plan... OK, you get the idea.

I'll write something lighter and more of MY BLOG worthy topic in the next post. And I will hopefully get around to write some of the posts I planned for a while in the future . Now, I wonder if I should mention those topics in the upcoming posts, seeing as I actually had them sitting in the backlog for weeks (and in some cases, even months).

By the by, did you watch the video there? In case you're no fan of metal, I'll just quote the most relevant lyrics:

I screamed aloud to the old man
I said don't lie, don't say you don't know
I say you'll pay for this mischief
In this world or the next
Oh and then he fixed me with a freezing glance
And the hellfires raged in his eyes
He said do you want to know the truth son
Lord I'll tell you the truth
Your soul's going to burn in the lake of fire

The moral of the story? Perhaps having an all seeing glimpse of the future is not necessarily a good thing. Sure that the story here is more related to mystical themes, but I thought it's relevant here. Anyway, it's an awesome song from an awesome band.

But you know what? To get more in tune with the theme of unknown (and Touhou, heh), here... have an arrangement of Heian Alien from one of the metal gods of Touhou arrangement, Demetori.

Nue-chan ♥

like a plate tectonic is one years old!

2011-06-17T18:57:00.000+08:00

And, just like my birthday post way back, I post this one later than the original date as well.

After inception from 16th June 2010 - starting as what originally is going to be quasi-academical plus everything else besides that - the blog slowly drifted apart through several topics, where it now settles down to cover mostly Touhou, anime, music, (mostly) random rants and everything else besides that. Guess nothing much have changed during that time huh?

So as this won't be a short 'I just made a random post lolololol' I'll explain where I came up with the current internet username (which is admittedly long, and doesn't make sense).

Anyone who know me well may (or may not) know that I'm a sucker for puns. So while I was figuring out what to put as my username for this blog, two things came into mind: 1) faults, which is one of the many geological structure, and 2) Fujiwara no Mokou (which was - and still - my favourite Touhou character at that time).

And as I tried to link those two, I thought, 'hey, those 'faults' are not as 'faulty' as their name suggests... now that's an idea...'

Mokou is not amused

Yeap, that was lame wasn't it?

Anyway, since I don't think I'll be posting anything for a while, I'll open the comment section for any questions/comment for the blogs/any random words that is related to this blog. Want me to write anything in particular for the next posts? Think there's something in the blog that needs modification? Or just wanted to ask any random question about me, but never have the chance?

Post them up down there in the comment section~

The Big Four Of Touhou Metal/Rock Arrangement

2011-06-14T21:23:00.001+08:00

Awww yeahhhh. Nice guitar (among other things)

Or should I say the Big Five? Blame me and my indecisiveness to pick the best out of all those circles...

You know, I haven't seen this kind of thing being done yet - I've seen some crossfades of 'Best Of' for some circles, but I haven't came across one highlighting several circles at once - so I thought, hey, why the heck not? It's not as if I have anything else to do while I'm studying for finals (yeap, I did just that. Good times, man. Good times...)

So let's get on to the reasons why these circles were chosen:

CROW'SCLAW

Taka is God, enough said.

OK, the choice of this circle is highly biased - what's with them being the first Touhou circle that I listen to their whole albums - but you gotta admit that Taka does a pretty solid job at laying down some of the best and memorable Touhou metal records.

While Crossfire Barrage and the badass titled Brutal Games For Reminding Of Death are usually cited by Touhou metalheads, I find their southern rock influenced Frozen Frog and neoclassical metal tinged Over The Rainbow to be their best shots (not that I'm implying CB and BGFROD are inferior, mind; that's just my personal taste). And if you want to compare Crossfire and Brutal Games, I like Crossfire more as a whole album, but Brutal Games have more of my favourite tracks (Immortal Madness, Solitude Of Descendant, and Mimetic Flower).

After their last gig at Flowering Night 2009, I'm kinda itching to see Taka & co live performance again. Heck, if they ever released the DVD to Crow'sfest 2011, I'll buy it in a heartbeat.

Demetori

I'm still getting around with all the metal genres, but Demetori comes off to me as a mix of power metal, speed metal, and progressive metal. They played around with several different styles on their stuff, which is always a good thing.

Nada Upasana Pundarika is my favourite records off them - it is in my opinion their heaviest album, as shown by the opening track of the arrangement of Heian Alien. And the Byakuren arrangement... OH GOD, I get eargasms whenever I listen to that piece. Not even the godly CROW'SCLAW could top that one off. This album is a close competitor to the aforementioned Crossfire Barrage in my humble opinion.

I just wish they'd release some new stuff already. It's been 2 years since we heard anything from the boys...

IRON ATTACK!

Well, I'll be honest about these guys: they release so many albums that I find it hard to actually sit down and say, 'yeah, this album is good! and this one is better, as shown by this arrangement!' and so on.

Iron-Chino's guitar playing style is pretty distinct tho, that I think I could recognize his presence on other work (e.g. Thousand Leaves, Sister's Spread-i). His sound is... I don't know how to describe it, but the way his guitar sounds (I think he mostly uses a Jackson Star model?) and his soloing is quite distinct. I don't think I heard any other circles having the same style as he is.

Some of their memorable albums to me would be Dead Heat Refrain, Thunder Concert, Sparking, Vampire Concerto, and Arashi no Hurricane. The thing is, with all his released work, there's bound to be something that will pique your interest - although I suppose most of their music have that old 70s or 80s metal feeling. Neoclassical metal much?

UI-70

Now this is a tough one. If you include vocal/metal-rock, then Unlucky Morpheus would come next after the previously mentioned circles. But if you're talking about pure instrumental pieces (nevermind From The Bottom Of The Heart and some occasional vocals from Iron), then it comes down to this circle (and another one, which we will get to shortly).

If you think IRON ATTACK! stuff are too much to the point that you can't connect with their songs, then try going through UI-70 releases. I'll testify that I find most of their works to be pretty bland, with the exception of their earlier releases (e.g. Deadly Dancing Butterfly and Vaguely Dreams of Scarlet Fullmoon). They even dabbed into some non rock/metal stuff as well, playing some techno, 8-bit, and jazz. It is also worth noting that they have began producing (Touhou arrangement) albums way back in 2005, when most of the other circles haven't delved into Touhou arrangements yet.

Their masterpiece, The Splendid World, is so... well, splendid, that it changed my perception on them. Who would have thought of covering Touhou musics as stoner rock/doom metal?

Other notable album include their Phantom Ensemble-only arrangement album (2 discs at that), Phantasmagoria of Flower View album (joint album with Demetori), Unidentified Flying Object album, and Imperishable Night album. Looking at their trend to make one whole album for one series, anyone wanna bet that they'd do a Subterranean Animism album later? Or if they're up to date... perhaps a Ten Desires album?

And here comes the second part:

xi-on

These guys are proficient at playing around with different styles, and they make some pretty not-too-heavy-yet-awesome arrangements (their Nuclear Fusion, Dark Side of Fate, and Phantom Ensemble are among my top favourites). So why didn't they top UI-70 in this list?

If you want to ask my opinion, it is because while they have good individual tracks, but on the whole (in terms of albums), they don't really give me the 'this is awesome!' vibe. I think it's the way how some of their heavier stuff is mixed along with some lighter rock music and even dance-ish stuff, which tend to overshadow their more solid-as-rock (or metal) tracks. So yes, collectively their stuff isn't heavy enough for my liking, though their venture into different style still makes them a worthy metal/rock circle in my book.

OMAKE

Sorry for not being on here much; my final year project is really taking its toll on my ability to just take it easy. I actually have this post planned for a few weeks already, but I never could find the time to post it. It's crazy.

I actually have some topics I'd want to write too, but my current constrain demands me that I channel my thought to more... serious things. So yes, posts will probably be scarce until... early August maybe?

Also, I notice that most fellow bloggers aren't around too much now. Summer/exam/work fever, is it?

More photography? If you insists...

2011-06-04T20:35:00.001+08:00

I don't really intend to make fun of any party out there (they know better about where they stand when it comes to photography - remember that surprisingly good pictures taken by the smartphone in my last post?), but this is too good to pass up.

I hope people won't mind these short picture majority posts; I mean, it's nice to just sit back and just enjoy a random pic or comic with some extra commentary, right...?

OK, I'm just lazy. So sue me.

Never judge a photographer by his gear...

2011-06-01T20:42:00.000+08:00

'cause you'd be surprised at how that pretty so-so camera could take such great pictures. Sure that DSLRs are on the higher end compared to the compacts, but sometimes...

you get very good photos such as these, and just when you were going to say, "oh, I wonder which camera model the photographer uses", you freeze.

Because the camera is actually a camera phone. A Nokia N8, to be exact.

Dat smartphone

Not only that, but the video recording is pretty good too. HD - heck, even my trusty S700 couldn't record videos at that level.

Of course, the photographers also uses a Canon EOS 60D too, so you know that he's not just someone who just take pictures with his phone.

So, I guess the moral of the story is this: don't diss that other guy besides you who is taking pictures with a camera phone. Because, who knows, he might produce some pretty darn good photos.

(P/S: I would put a better picture of his work, but most of his stuff is at flickr, so... there you go):

flickr
Youtube account

Well, time to buckle up and work on improving my photography skills a bit.

Because I have nothing better to do...

2011-06-01T14:01:00.001+08:00

than to watch some trolls and the simple-minded 'will believe anything on the internet'. Guess some people just don't understand the concept of sarcasm, huh?

If you are bored, with nothing better to do to kill time, why don't you browse through the continuation of the wall of text? It really made my day, I'll say.

Yes, I have so much free time to spend on this little things, rather than working on my project; how productive is that huh?

Shoot em up!

2011-05-28T22:29:00.001+08:00

You know, a funny thing happened at the last convention that I went to: I was gonna take a picture of two cosplayers, when this one fine gentleman offered to take a picture of me with them (even without me showing the intent to).

What happened afterward was that he gave me some advices on how to properly use my camera - I would've said, "uhh, and you're telling me all this because...?", but since he suddenly offered to take a picture of me out of the blue, I guess I'll let it slide.

And because he had given me some free unwanted advices, I thought I'd do the same and offer some advices on how to optimize the usage of (compact) digital cameras (sorry, I ain't got any DSLRs ahaha). Because knowledge is half of the battle innit?

This is not so much as a tutorial. Treat it as a rambling of some sort. After all, don't everyone love stories?

Aya getting ready for some shootout alongside my trusty S700

I'm currently using a Nikon COOPLIX S700, which originally belong to my brother (he's using my dad's DSLR now). If you wanna know the full background story, three of my family member - my dad, my brother, and my sister - are good at handling DSLRs, each with their respective specialties: my dad has been going into photography for a long time, starting with the traditional SLRs; my brother has a knack for taking good scenery pictures, and usually ends up manning my dad DSLR at events; my sister is a camera-trigger-happy that like to take pictures of the people around her.

I'm comfortable sticking around with my compact, seeing as... it'd be a waste handing over a DSLR to me (remember the few times I mentioned on how I don't take as many pictures of people? you could say it's partly reclusive-shyness - yes, I'll admit so - and partly because I only take pictures that really interest me - which can sometimes be quite little). I have a basic on the know-hows, but I guess I don't have the right 'mindset' for a photographer.

Anyway, enough of that. While I'm pretty blurry at the subject of photography, I could share a few things I learned when handling my compact:

1) A correct pressing of the capture button

This might sound silly - I figured it out even when I first try out the compact - but a few people have advised me on the correct way to capture a picture. How does it go? Well, you first lightly press the button (that is the right word, isn't it?), until you could hear/see the camera trying to keep in focus with what you're trying to capture.

If the focus is out, release the button and do so until it is in focus. When so, you press the button all the way, and wala!, there's your picture!

I actually made it more complex than what it is. I think most people already figured it out, but repetitions are worth repeating...

I didn't take this picture, but this may result from pressing the button too fast. Everything becomes blurry and out of focus.

2) Them bright flashes

Personally, I dislike using flashes. They make the picture - especially when it comes to faces - look quite unnatural. And gods saves us if the person have a lot of extra 'accessories' on his/her face...

I try to stay away from flashes if I could help it. I learned from my Family-Member-cum-Photographers (FMP) that sometimes, it's better to use flash even if the surrounding has enough lighting. A good example is when the background lighting is so bright (backlit, I think that's what it is called), that taking a picture of the subject without flash would result in a dark outline with bright background. If so, it's flash time for ya~

A reverse case, where the foreground is brighter than the background. Perhaps I should have used a flash for this one?

3) Exposure compensation

I started to play with this feature after I notice how some indoor pictures that I took are a bit too bright (I suspect that my camera is acting up - I've been using it for about 3 years now) but someone commented that it's the way for indoor pictures, what's with all the bright light and everything.

I usually set it at -0.3 or -0.7, although for outdoor (when the sun produces some pretty nasty glare) the numbers can be lower. I don't think the camera's exposure setting has been set back to 0.0, and I wonder if the pictures are going to be change so much if I revert to the value. Probably not much, I suspect.

This picture look like it could use some lower exposure compensation...

4) A balancing of the whiteness

This is something I found out, as bizarre as it may sound, when I was capturing a picture of a mushroom inside my bathroom. I thought the lighting was a bit too bright, so I fiddled around the setting until I found the white balance option:

Ever notice how some pictures turns out rather orange-ish when you view them later? Well, if the area is lighted by incandescent light, then the result would be as such:

To fix this, just adjust the camera's white balance to the respective light source (I haven't experimented with cloudy and flash setting, so I don't know how those works). Here's the result of applying a white balance for incandescent light. Not so orange now are we?

A word of caution: if you set the white balance for incandescent, do take note that taking a picture under sunlight might result in blue-ish flavour in the picture instead:

5) Cameras are focusing...

I guess I mentioned this point in #1, but I'll show you how sometimes the focus can go wrong even when you didn't rush on pressing the button:

See the cat? Instead of him/her, the picture is focused on the slippers instead. Why does the camera decide to focus on them instead of the cat, you ask? Well, I don't know, but I suspect it has something to do with how far the subject is distanced from the camera.

You can actually set the focus mode of the camera: either automatic, manual, face priority, or center (I guess this apply to other camera models as well, since I've seen some people using the face priority focus mode). I usually settle for auto, and when I want to be a bit more precise, center.

6) Balancing it up

Quite obvious: holding the camera with both hand will produce a less blurry picture than one taken single-handedly. Unless perhaps if you are in a crowd (ah yes, those conventions) and you have no other choice but to take a bird's eye view with one free hand...

I tried to steady my hand as much as I could, but it's hard when you get people brushing against you every now and then. I had to use flash in the end (see the figure in #2)

You also have to consider when it is the subject that is moving here and there, which would also result in blurry picture. For the latter, it might be a good idea to set your camera to continous mode, taking many frames of the subject in one burst (I myself haven't tried this method much, but I can see the merit of it).

7) Watch out for intrusions

Sometimes you never realise that out-of-place head or hand in your picture, until you view the pictures later. In some cases, cropping is the way to go.

But in some cases, there might not be much that you could do with the unwanted item, and you just have to take it like a man (or woman - I ain't gonna be sexist ok) and go take some other pictures.

And that's what little I've learned while playing around with my compact digital cameras. For extras, here are some photography techniques/tips that I've learned from my FMP. They might be elementary to some, but everyone's gotta start from somewhere right?

1) Bokeh

Perhaps a vert basic technique in photography, I once joked with my FMP that you might want to ask this to the DSLR-bearing people and see if they have any idea what the heck it means. And if they didn't pass this acid test... well, I pity the DSLRs, man.

This is my little attempt at bokeh, featuring a small pineapple, 2 cars in the background, and a strange person behind the camera who has nothing better to do than to take a picture of a small pineapple with 2 cars in the background:

2) Putting the right thing in the frame

My dad is especially particular about this. The point is this: if you want to capture a person in motion (let us say... a martial art session). Now, you wouldn't make the mistake of suddenly 'cutting off' his appendages from the frame, would you? Since it is those which are of interest to us. In other words, the right thing in the right frame (you could think of it as mentally cropping a subject).

One of my dad's favourite critique on this is 'kepala dia kena potong' (his head got cut off), which is funny if you look at it one way, but quite serious on the other hand. Well. Unless if you're aiming for the body-only look.

Here's a good bad example of various parts that got 'potong':

3) Lighting

Someone once told me that photography is all about capturing the light, and I can see what he meant by that: lighting can make all the difference in the outcome of the pictures.

I'm by no mean too knowledgeable (or particular) about lighting: my rule of thumb is that as long as the lighting is in such a way that the photos does not have too much noise in them (low lighting), or that the photos doesn't get too bright (too much lighting), then I'm all right with it.

Here's an example of a picture with sufficient lighting (the window was open, so there was abundant lighting for the subject):

This is actually a still from a video recording, but I liked how it turns out.

4) View the pictures afterwards (and take lots of 'em)

Since it is almost impossible to know whether the camera setting is right for the surrounding or not, it is a good idea to occasionally view those photos that you just take - in case you need to change the ISO, white balance, shutter speed etc. In fact, one thing I learned about photographers is that they should be able to react in the right way to a change in the settings - something which need a lot of trial and error, I'm sure.

'A good photographer takes many, many bad photos, and only select the best out of them' is what I've learned.

5) 'Even a baka could take acceptable pictures on DSLRs'

Or so says my dad (though I word it differently here). I'm sure some photographers would disagree with that statement (hey! you gotta know the right setting to get good pictures! you think using DSLR is an easy job, huh?), but from my own observations of the abundance of people carrying around DSLRs... I think that statement is not far from truth.

Well, perhaps I should rephrase the words: DSLRs are now cheap and easily available, than even people who have no inclination in photography - and also not bothering to learn more about them - could use them to take pictures, which will turn out to be better had the same person uses a compact digital camera.

EX) Why I can't call myself a 'photographer'

Someone once commented to my question on 'what makes a good photography?' that it is all about 'common sense'.

Well, too bad I'm lousy with common sense; my lousiness with common sense probably rival even that of ol' Sanae herself.

But that might be my part that is being too critical, heh.

So, um. Conclusions? I'm just a compact digital camera owner that occasionally take pictures of my surrounding (see, one of the reason why handing me a DSLR at this moment would be in vain). 'course, I won't mind handling them one of these days (the concept of fiddling and playing around with the settings, to see what works and what doesn't, is something quite... exciting to me - I guess I'm the type of person who's more interested in the steps rather than the outcomes). Until then, I'm slowly levelling up on my trusty S700, before moving up to the big guns.

Keep on shooting you crazy photographers!

OK, that was a bad pun. Have something that is more relevant:

Awesome~

C2AGE 2011

2011-05-24T09:56:00.002+08:00

So I said that I'm gonna get serious and work on my thesis as soon as possible right? Turns out I did a leeeetle detour last weekend, by attending one anime conventions.

B-but it's not as if I was slacking off or anything! It's a good chance to meetup some familiar faces (and some new ones), right? Right?

Anyway, I didn't took much picture the first day. Why? Well I dunno... I guess I was still tired from the train journey I had the day before. Or maybe because I didn't get any sleep. Or a hundred other insignificant factors that could lead to being lazy.

OK, I'm just rambling over there. Here's some pictures of the first day:

The Wriggle gets bullied quite a lot (which might not be so surprising haha)

And that's about half of the pics that I took on the first day. But to my defense, there wasn't too many cosplays on the first day that really impress me, with majority of them being Vocaloids. Also, I mostly used my camera to record the band performance, which you can see as such:

(more videos of the events could be found at my Youtube channel [/shameless plugging])

I had the experience of meeting a few online people irl. It's always strange whenever that happens if you ask me - you don't get the comfort of non-direct communication - but I'm okay with that.

The second day was slightly fruitful, as the gears in my head finally starts to kick off:

I like this Madoka cosplayer. She's cute~

With the exception of the blurry hand flashing by, this picture surprisingly turn out quite good.

I did took some pictures with the Koumajou Densetsu team with a few other guys, with almost the same position as the Wriggle above (oh that's so m of me). Just head over my FB page if you're curious about it:

Pictures of C2AGE (I will put it as public for about 2 weeks or so)

Also, no worries, for there's no terrible crossplayers picture in that (Azusa, anyone? :P). So just take it easy there.

A few things I learn from this convention:
1) Traps and crossplayers are a must in a con
2) A con is only half as fun without a friend or acquaintances. Or cute cosplayers.
3) If you hang out with the people at the cons too long, you'll start to pick up their crazy traits (and I mean the funny whacky kind of crazy)
4) Getting stabbed in the back ain't too bad (I'll let you browse around my FB page to find out what that means hahahah)

Well, time to finally get on my thesis. The next posts might be when something more interesting happen (which I can't guarantee, seeing that I'll be subjected to rigorous labworks and writing). I'll still be my usual procrastinating self, so:

Take it easy guys~

The place where I'll return to someday

2011-05-19T17:49:00.001+08:00

How's everyone else? I see a lack of activity in the blogging sphere lately (i-it's not that I missed you guys or anything...)

...so yes, nothing much have been happening here back home. I've watched a couple episodes of this season's anime (with Nichijou and Deadman Wonderland being the ones I'm most up-to-date). I've watched the first episodes of X-men, planning to watch a couple of episodes from other anime as well: I'm keeping Ano Hana, C, Denpa Onna, and TWOGK 2 on my backlog. Also, I should get back to Kore wa Zombie and Fractale too - been leaving those 2 for a while now.

Nichijou was pretty random; it gives me the impression of Azumanga Daioh meets Cromartie Highschool. I thought it was pretty alright at first, but when I view this one scene:

I was sold.

Deadman Wonderland, a stark constrast to the brightly coloured world of Nichijou, is (obviously) a gritty and bloody shonen genre ride. I'm pretty so-so when it comes to these genre, but it's those dark tones that made me to pick this one up (other similar series that I've watched in this way that I could think of right now would be Texhnolyze).

I love the OP

After watching Wolverine for last season, I'm glad to see the direction they took with X-men. At least Wolverine look less of a bishie and more gar this time.

I haven't listen to any new Touhou music nowadays (actually, I don't listen to any new music right now, period). I've had a few albums I've been putting in my backlog - guess I should sit down and have a listen at 'em.

I'm beginning to diversify my taste for a bit, so I'm now lurking over a few blogs to find all those awesome non-conventional records (props to these guys for introducing some pretty interesting records).

Speaking of music, have anyone checked out the performance of Flowering Night 2011? So far as I know, most of them are up at Niconico (I sign up just to view those recordings, even!), but I'm pretty disappointed to see that Buta Otome's performance isn't yet up. So for now, I can only console myself by listening to the MP3 of their performance.

So far, I could say that kairo, Buta Otome, Sekkenya, and Cool&Create are the more solid acts of the event.

(If you have a DoujinStyle.com account, you might wanna check out this thread for updates on FN2011 - that's where I get all the MP3 and links)

(but I guess other sites such as /jp/ is more up to date on this kind of things, mm?)

I'm interested to watch the dancing pink bunny on stage...

EDIT: They are already up on Niconico, yeahhhh

Also, it's quite embarassing to admit, but I actually don't listen much to a lot of the performing circles prior (e.g. Sekkenya, Cool&Create, Akeboshi Rockets)... so that'd give me something to look forward to when I blast some songs, heh.

Oh, and I also played a few songs on my bro's bass, since I'm getting pretty lazy to do other stuff. I might write more about it in later posts.

After hearing about it in a few posts back, I decided to play Yume Nikki. It was quite an experience, and it gives me the atmosphere of Mother series game meets Serial Experiments Lain. It's scary, bleak, crazy, weird... but I love it. Now, if only I could figure out where the next effect is...

Wow, this turns out longer than intended (not to mention unorganized). Anyway, I'm returning to my campus this weekend (hence the title), where I'll stay for the next 2 month to finish up my final year project. It - the project - is scaring the hell out of me (a bit), seeing as I haven't done much on it yet - but I hope the next 2 uninterrupted month would let me to produce something coherent. Godspeed, me...

Can't take it easy

This isn't actually a goodbye...

2011-05-15T23:42:00.001+08:00

"I don't care if it's a sad good-by or a bad good-by, but when I leave a place I like to know I'm leaving it"
- Holden Caulfield, The Catcher In The Rye

What's up guys. I was very very much into the last two papers that I actually stopped coming online for 2 days (that's how serious I was), so I have a lot to catch up on other blog posts. And when the papers finished on Thursday, I spend the weekend just chilling and taking it easy. I was planning to write this straight away after the last paper, but procrastination got the best of me, heheh.

Anyway, as of last Thursday, I have finished the last of my exam papers, leaving only my final project writing and presentation (which kinda scares the hell out of me... tho I have two month to patch it all up). Come July, and I'll be gone from my university for good (at least, until September where I'll return for Master, but that's a different story).

What follow is some account of my stay at college (yes, I actually stayed at the same college for the whole 3 years, even if I eventually grew to become bored of it):

Year 1

The place where I reside for 3 whole years

I was pretty reclusive at this time, tho I participate in quite a number of college activity (partly because I felt that it was better than doing nothing, and partly because it's a prerequisite if I was to extend my stay for another year). My presence in my department is more meager, with me engaging in some... rather eccentric behaviour (I won't tell them here - it's kinda embarassing even to think about it - tho I'll give a hint and say that they involves clothing and appearance).

It was pretty interesting to note that I dabbled quite extensively in religion, politic, war, and conspiracy theories at this time. Guess it's a phase that I went through?

I think I have posted my picture in here way back before, so I don't see any problem posting it here. Not that too many rubbernecks in the pictures would likely to find them anyway:

Brutal dudes

I still have this, although it gets a bigger pot now

A cat that went in my room

Year 2

Too lewd?

More active presence at the department, at the expense of college activities. To be honest I was just tired of having to attend all those activities because 'they are mandatory'. We also had a lot of fieldworks during this year, which although I find taxing then, eventually came to miss them afterwards.

She's a guy, yup

Pushing a broken down bus + rain = no good

Big kids

Barbeques are nice

This old geezer just shat among the rocks. Really.

The department's best lecturer of all time. Of all time.

Not surprisingly, I was kicked out of college, but successfully returned during next year when there are absence in some of the rooms.

Year 3

This tree at our college burst into flames for no apparent reason. I suspect that Mokou was there.

This year mark a major change, as I've become more critical in my thinking, more pessimistic, and REALLY started to think if I was ever going to let myself drift through university life without nothing interesting happening. I guess that affect my academic performance a bit, but it was worth it. At least I don't have much regrets now, finishing my Degree level and all.

Mini pineapple. Quite cute, eh?

Free food: our department give them quite a lot (except that you had to attend the talk afterwards)

Something worth mentioning about college tho: I roomed with this one little prick that annoyed the hell out of me. He was all right at first, even if he's those kind of people who liked to sing out loud (when he has those not-so-melodious voice), and made me all nervousy-jittery when he suddenly yelled at me from a distance when I'm walking on the road.

But then one day, while I was watching the final episode of Toradora, right when the scene where they were at the bridge - that little asshole started to imitate Taiga ("baka baka baka") in that stupid voice of his.

...read the damn mood goddammit. I turned the hell around, and shown him the finger like a boss. He still grinned like an idiot, but at least he went out afterwards (off doing some college activities or something, which I don't care). I shoulda shout at him or something too, or even better, throw something at his stupid grinning face - yes, I'm quite emotional and hotheaded, I admit.

Zakk Wylde have some pretty good stuff before he went all heavy

I guess that's how I came to hate his gut ever since. Partly because of my change into being more pessimistic and reclusive, I guess. Maybe I just don't groove along with them 'normals' too much, I don't know.

Sometimes I feel like giving him a knuckle sandwich for no apparent reason. I've honestly never felt so pissed off at someone like that.

Another thing was that drove me crazy was the fact that the little prick totally abused his guitar. The condition of the guitar is one thing - maybe he liked the old faded look or something - but not changing the string when it snapped? Talk about lazy. I felt like crying whenever I looked at the guitar.

And he only played it like maybe once a week or so. He doesn't even keep the guitar in a case or anything, that blockhead.

Regardless, at least he allow me to mess around like an autist on the instrument. I guess that's the only good thing I could say about him. In a sense, I guess I miss him a bit. Tho, if I ever to room with him again, I'd still hate his guts, that fool.

Well, that's all I felt like writing about my whole three years at the university. I'll make another more significant post highlighting what is it that I'm doing during my post-exam period (I need more sleep to recover the ones I lost during exam weeks...). Take it easy until then, mmkay?

Let's end this with another stuff from Pride and Glory, which goes well with the mood and all:

He's dead

2011-05-03T16:46:00.002+08:00

"Osama's Death Will Ensure A More Peaceful And Safe World "
- Comment from a certain local politician

Seriously?

So by now probably half of the people across the globe is celebrating for the death of Osama, with a small number doing the opposite, lamenting the loss of 'freedom fighter', 'defender of faith', 'global Islamic fighter', or whatever (yes, we get some of the latter here too).

As for me? I couldn't care less. I never approved of his modus operandi - and his own view that he's godsend - so naturally I wasn't moved when the news came in. Rather, what gets me instead is how most people are quick to jump into the bandwagon and say, "finally, that terrorizing bastard is dead!", thinking that removing this guy out of the picture would solve the problem that's going on right now. Well, do you think that REALLY make the world more peaceful and safe? You don't think another Osama will rise up somewhere (or rather, we will 'create' another one), and another bloody cycle begins anew?

And you keep voicing out against terrorism - but what about the other more serious shit that's going on?At this rate, I think hunger, overpopulation, and pollution will get to us before terrorism does - but this is not the place for me to discuss that. At least, not yet.

Well, I'm honestly quite ignorant when it comes to geopolitics, so I think Needless post makes a better job at discussing this issue (the picture at the end is ace too).

Yes, I promised earlier that I won't be here until the next 2 week, but I just gotta get this thing off my chest. It has really bothered me, honestly. Hope you excuse this ranting...

'tis but a distant dream...

As for me, I'm done with another paper today - the last 2 papers won't be until next week. So off to the studying table I go...

How's everyone else doing?

I could not take it easy

2011-04-29T22:55:00.000+08:00

I don't know if it is indeed a conspiracy, but as with a few fellow bloggers, I've also contracted some sort of stomach illness. You know, the usual - stomach being mixed ala blender, having to go to the toilet practically every 2 hour (it disturbed my sleeping pattern, even), and generally not being able to take it easy. I spend the first day of the sickness lying in bed all day, that I had to ask one of my friend to buy dinner from outside.

Something like this

And to make it worse, I had not one, but two exam papers on the third day, so it was quite shit (literally). I'm just glad nothing, erm... embarrassing took place in the exam hall, you dig me? I'm slightly all right today, though I still can't eat any heavy meal (i.e. rice); I can't swallow them too well yet.

Moving on to something less depressing:

Remember that one PV that was posted here wayyyy back ago? Apparently there's more to it.

My guess is that this is as 'official' a Touhou anime can get as those other fanmade PVs (e.g. Kinema Kan), but there are a few people commenting on how this is gonna be a full length anime and all (as shown by the early trailer). As much as I'd like to beg to differ - the last Kinema Kan had that PV where Marisa was duelling with Yuuka, but was it turned into a full length anime? - this one really looked like they're all geared up to make a full length episode(s?).

A quick search for 'Gensou Mangekyo' (set to be released during Reitaisai, apparently) brings me back to the opening PV. So maybe it's just a short PV after all. Unless if they're releasing a full version come this May...

The different version of Bad Apple! and the slideshow by hounori was nice.

And no, after the lengthy ranting and rambling last time, I've came to be indifferent to those who hope Touhou would get a full length anime series. Live and let live...

Whatever happened to Maikaze's production by the way? I know ZUN wasn't too happy with what they did, but I'm positive that I saw the trailer for the second episodes a few month ago.

Thanks for the peeps that drop their two cents in the last post. It's nice to see different takes on the issues; and even tho I didn't make any comments afterward, rest assured that I do went through them.

Take it easy now guys, I won't be posting for a while now, with exams going on for the next 2 weeks. I'll still be around to read through others' blogs tho~

Also, while I've yet to go through this season's anime list (I'm catching up on a few of the ones from last season), anyone wanna recommend a few series? So far I'm putting Nichijou and Deadman Wonderland on my list. I'm gonna watch them right after exam, I guess.

Musing and ranting on the Touhou series: the fanbase, the future, and some case studies of similar series

2011-04-22T22:14:00.002+08:00

Title says it all.

After the last post which seems pretty much to concur with those who don't really like the series('s fanbase), let's now take a closer look at the issue:

(Incoming wall of text below: this will be partly ranting, partly serious discussion, and contain items which only the Touhou fans could understand/would care to read)

First of all: This was very much written a few days before Reitaisai - and of course, we know what happened at that time. After the incident, I've withheld this post, waiting until the whole thing settled down. But of course, procrastination later sets in, and I've pretty much forgotten about this whole thing.

So when I saw this post at deviantArt (yeah, they still have a bunch of gems in spite of the influx of terrible 'artists'), I felt that the I should just get it over with and put this up (I recommend reading the post as extra reading material by the way - there's some pretty interesting comments in there)

So yeah. Feel free to correct, shout, ridicule, to agree, to agree to disagree, or say whatever on this subject, right there under the comment section.

TOUHOU 13: ???

As the approaching of the (now unfortunately delayed) Reitaisai, I'm sure many attentions' are toward the 13th Touhou series game, Ten Desires. And even though the trial version have been released, I don't plan to discuss on the speculations for the rest of the game. Howver, I just wanted to mention this one speculation that is relevant to the incoming wall-of text: that is, the possibility of PC-98 characters (emphasis on Mima) making a comeback on the game.

If that is true - on ZUN giving in to the complaints of certain fans for bringing back Mima - then I somewhat pity the man. As said by a certain person off the interwebs:

"Mima: I´m sure it will appear, but because fans FORCED ZUN to, I kinda like Mima but haven't played the pc98 games so... Well, ZUN maybe doesn't want the tantrum fans made when UFO got released (OMFG! MAKAI! STFU! MAKAI AND NO SHINKI IS SHIT, REMOVE THAT JESUS YOUKAI NOW!)."

Let's not dwell on the above comment and save it for later shall we?

SOME (RANDOM) INFO OF THIS RAMBLER

As what you could gleam from some of the past posts, I am actually quite new at the series, having spend a good deal of time knowing its existence, yet never taking that first few steps to initiate myself into it. And when I finally did... the rest is history, to borrow the cliched-yet-irresistible saying.

I'm sure if I have mentioned this point before, but Touhou has a combination of elements which are all not usually found altogether in a single series - elements that have managed to convert me, so to speak. Without going into too much details, they would be:
-The music
-Huge character assemblages
-A large amount of excellent fanworks
-A flexible setting that allow creative fan's interpretation
-The indie aspect of the series

Out of these aspects, I'd like to touch on the second last point: namely, the fanbase for the series.

ON FANS: MEMES, NEWFRIENDS, AND THE OH-SO-SERIOUS ONES

I guess my case of being initiated into Touhou through slightly unconventional means (you know who I'm talking about) have helped in preventing me from viewing Touhou as just one of those sugoi kawaii desu moe series.

Though, I must confess one thing: when I had just started with the series, I was very much like those autistic Touhou fans. You know, the ones who wanted the series to become more well known (in other word, for it to be commercialized), wishing for more people to be involved as part of the fanbase. I'll just get straight to the point here: I like the series a lot, but as far as the fanbase goes... sometimes I love them, sometimes they're all right, and half of the time, they can get on my nerves.

Whenever I visit certain boards and websites during my (ever ongoing) procrastinating periods (I have never stepped my foot in /jp/, and I don't plan to at the moment), I find the attitude of certain fans to be plain annoying. A good example of the said annoyance would be the rehashing of the same old meme - up to a point where it's not even funny anymore.

I'm sure most are all too aware of the example, but I'll give one to put things in perspective: gluttonous Yuyuko.

Yuyuko is sad now

Sure, her lines in Imperishable Night leads to this infamous meme - you could argue that it's something canon, even - but I can't stand it when they view her as nothing more than having a black hole for a stomach, disregarding her other personalities - and I'm not saying sometimes, I am saying how some view her as, well, nothing more than a hungry ghost with a big appetite. In other word, it's all a 1-dimensionalisation process (hey I just made up that word).

And then there's other memes that tend to make me cringe for a bit - lonely creepy Alice, 'supatenko' Ran, and Sanae being a... err, not a good girl. Someone once commented along the line that "well OK, I know Yuyuko eats a lot, and Yukari is a hag, but is that honestly all that you can say about them" - you get the idea.

"But Faults, you indulge in works that feature those memes, and you actually like them!" Well... that's a good point there: since meme are very much subjective - with some people having a certain toleration to some, and detesting the others (case in point: Yukkuri) - perhaps it's not the meme itself that is the problem here; but rather, those annoying fans which keeps on spewing the memes over and over until it's not funny anymore. And speaking of those annoying fans... good god, sometimes you couldn't hold an intelligent discussion with them without them acting all... autistic.

...all right, so I might have been a bit mean on the last point - to be fair, sometimes even the reaction of the so-called 'true' fans to these kind of fans also annoy me, with their hostility towards newcomers. And while we're on that issue, I've seen a good number of people suddenly claiming "hey I know a lot about Touhou!", but upon some checking, their 'knowledge' are mostly about those memes and other similar stuff. Do they view Touhou as a series with cute girls doing cute stuff?

THOSE OTHER FANS

Now what about the secondary fans? Nothing against the ones that only indulge in the derivative works of the series, mind: I am talking about the ones who have only touched the surface of the series - I bet they only watched some PVs and only read stuff off the wiki page, without actually playing the games - and yet they are then so eager (that word may be a bit soft - I meant rabid) to demand for Touhou to be turned into an anime series?

By demanding, I'm not simply referring to the ones that go "when is ZUN going to make an official Touhou anime anyway?": what I meant are the "OMG ZUN why don't you make a Touhou anime why are you so selfish do you hate us foreign fans or something!" kind of fans. Sure, it's true that I myself had initially felt that Touhou could use more exposure, but even I wasn't too pushy for an anime of Touhou, being aware that it would deviate from the original concept of the series.

Going back to the 'true believers' of the series, they have been some complaints on how the newer 'fans' started to like the series because 'the characters are cute/beautiful/sugoi desu', and then acting as if they know all about the series (refer to what I just mentioned above). Naturally I'm not too crazy about these people myself, but it's nothing that we could do much about, isn't it?

At this point you might think of me as being a sort of serious 'matured' fan, but I don't think so. It's actually the opposite: as much as I'd like to sound like I've been a longtime, I'm a relatively ignorant newfag - tho I do share some skepticism and cynicism of the older fans. Maybe it's just because I'm naturally serious; I don't know.

Anyway, I'm glad with the new guideline posted by ZUN - as someone had succinctly said, basically those fans (that wanted a Touhou anime) just got told. As much as the fan helps to expand the Touhou universe, keep in mind that the series belong to the man up there. Don't screw with the original!

With that, I'll just end the ranting part here and move on to a different matter:

LOOKING FORWARD...

For the first five Touhou games, I think that not many people who were there when the games came out would have expected the series to reach where it is now. The fact that it is all made by one single person may surprise the uninitiated... but there we go. Even now, I'm still scratching my head wondering that exact first moment where the fanbase of the series started to appear - a question which I would gladly just pass it as 'who knows?' (makes life more interesting that way).

When I was slowly immersing myself in Touhou - passing that initial ignorant-and-slightly-too-eager-fan phase - I was very surprised to find how people are still slowly being sucked in: I thought I was too slow at getting into the series, and things aren't getting any hotter from here onward. And the amount of fanworks are coming at an unprecedented rate, that it seems as if there is no end to them.

But eventually, a thought hit me: that one of these days, the series would decline. Of course not the point of being forgotten altogether, but it will decline for sure - just as a milk becoming sour after a long time, humans becoming old and eventually die, old ideas replaced by newer ones, empire falling after a period of glory (okay, I'm getting ahead of myself here). In other word, entropy.

As I mentioned just now, when I was getting into Touhou, no new games was being released in the nearest past; since there is a gap since the release of Hisoutensoku, I had this thought that perhaps the series is big enough as it is, that it couldn't go further anymore (I'm talking in terms of popularity and influence, not the further release of the games). And yet the fanbase starts to grow, perhaps at a tremendous speed.

A while ago, I actually had a bit of talk with another fellow Touhou fan on this subject, and he correctly pointed out that the series would one day reach that one peak, where a decline is to follow very soon afterwards. Exactly when will the series reach the peak was not discussed - it's not as if these things could be placed on a graph and be defined quantitatively, despite what some may try to prove - but he felt that it would take some time to reach there. So we felt a bit optimistic at how Touhou is faring at the moment.

Still, from this small discussion, I then pondered on the nature of how the series would decline: would it end up in a sudden crash, or would it slowly fizzle out? More importantly, once that point is reached, would the fans continue to contribute something to the series, or would all the creative pool be drained so as nothing of good quality could be produce anymore? Or, if we were to return to the fans, would those newer fans infest the series with so much nonsense that it'd drive the older fans up the walls?

Once again, 'who knows?'.

...AND BACK THROUGH TIME

"But enough with all this talk on uncertainty!", says you. Well, all right then; since we have no way of knowing for sure the fate of the series, why don't we take a look back through time to see what happened to other similar series?

I picked these series based on some similar traits shared between them and Touhou - and, of course, because of my familiarity with them. They might seems to be odd choices, but here we go:

Pocket Monster series

A series which need no introduction, it represent my fear on one possibility on how Touhou could end up at the end of the day (at least, from my perspective)

Disregarding the fact that the series has its anime series, and a large number of official games, the premise of the series seems to share some certain similarity, in that you have a certain amount of freedom to tweak around for a bit - there's so many Fakemon (as some had came to call them) you could create, many possible settings which you could base your story on, and limitless possible characters (all mostly employed in fanfictions). And of course, the large amount of fanbase meant that there's a lot of different fanworks which you could find.

If some would stereotype Touhou as 'a game with a lot of girls characters', Pokemon is known as 'that kiddie game and cartoon' - I'm sure many could relate with the statement there.

As of now, I've rather lost interest in the series: the design for the newer Pokemon are too odd for my taste, if you want to know the truth. I haven't played the game itself, so no comment on the game systems.

Now don't get me wrong tho; I like the older series and all, the games and everything, but I just can't groove with the newer works (and the fans). Does this mean I've 'grown up' from this series? If so, I might end up growing up from Touhou later. Maybe...

Mother/ Earthbound series

Ahh yes, I love the games, even if they hasn't been any new stuff out of the series (spin-off doesn't count).

The series is even more well-defined than Pokemon - the setting is quite fixed - so there isn't much room for fan's interpretation. Even though that is the case, the game is quite unique for its time tho - different from the other staple RPG games - so I guess that is one of the main reason why fans are still sticking to the series, even after all these time.

Another point worth mentioning is the music of the series, which although not made by a single guy, are quite good and rather memorable - it is actually what I like the most out of the series. There isn't too many collective fan efforts to produce a full arrangement album... except for this one, perhaps.

This might be a bit out of topic, but I find the creator of the games, Shigesato Itoi, to be a pretty interesting fellow. Looking at some of his interviews, and some of the elements he included in the games, he came across to me as quite a clever fellow, with a good amount of humour too. He reminds me of ZUN for some reason - maybe it's the way he crafted the games, not aiming to create a game that follow the mainstream. All in all, he's pretty cool. He's the kind of guy I wish I could call him at anytime of the day to have a couple of drink - tea, perhaps - as we talk about random stuff (or just me listening to him talking).

Getting back on the main topic, there are only 3 series of the games - with the first one in the late 80's - and yet you still get people talking about it to this day. Looking at this series, I feel a bit optimistic on how Touhou would stand in the future.

Cave Story

This game is very much similar to Touhou: it is created by a single guy, it has some pretty good music, it's quite addictive (but not as hard as Touhou), and have result in some pretty good fanworks. The only difference would be that the game had became mainstream - having been turned into Wii - and that a lot of things in the series are very much fixed.

While it's true that anyone who have played the game would point out that the games let you choose a few decisions which would affect the rest of the gameplay, but in terms of storyline, it's quite linear. Still, Cave Story is perhaps one of the very few series that had made me to appreciate the aspect of indie games. You could tell that the creator, Pixel, spend a lot of time in working for this game.

Anyone who have played the game would attest that the extra stage is quite tough - so much so that I viewed others' playbacks, and playing through the stage everyday just so I could get the to the 'best' ending (something which I haven't managed to apply the same intensity with the Touhou series, sadly enough).

(if you haven't played the game, I'd suggest you visit this website and have a go at it)

I have no idea how this series would fare in the future, but some people have mentioned how this game doesn't look out of place with some other classics such as, say, Metroid. Would it be hailed as a classic in the distant future then? Or, if we want to apply the same question to Touhou, would the game - not the other aspect of the series - be remembered for what it is?

LAST WORDS: WHY I BOTHERED TO WRITE THIS WALL OF TEXT ANYWAY?

So in the end, what brought me to this subject in the first place? Why bother writing something which most people won't care anyway?

Let's just say that I have something against the effect of fanbase towards a series (e.g. Bleach, Naruto and K-ON, tho I actually like the second one), and I'm slightly bothered with the direction that Touhou is heading right now. Somehow it seems to be that it's losing its 'indie' feel, now acquiring that 'anime/manga-ish series with kawaii characters' - which can be a bad or good thing, depending on how you look at it.

I am very sure that the series would still be around in the future, although the nature of the fanbase at that time is highly unknown. Maybe the fans of that time would be more annoying, that most of us oldfags would view them with disgust. Or maybe the present newer annoying fans would turn into mature seasoned fans, with the ones having attention span moving on to infest other popular series.

Or maybe we would lose interest before we reach that stage, as some people have become so.

Not a single damn was given at the end of the day~

But for now, I would rather take it easy and enjoy what the series (and the fanbase) could offer to me. Despite the serious tone that I try to keep on throughout the wall of text, I'm just as autistic as the other fans which I so fondly refers to. I may act that I'm dissatisfied with what they're doing, but in the end I myself am guilty for some of their behaviours (tho I'd like to think that I'm not as bad hahaha).

I hope ZUN keeps to his word and doesn't become a sellout:

"I'm going to keep making games that stand out, so if all my fans disappear I'm still happy I can keep doing the games I want."

To those who are still reading to this point: What is your view on the whole series fanbase? Is it bringing the series to a pool of stagnation? Is there anything that could be done about the influx of newer (annoying) fans? Should we even bother about them? Any other relevant comments related to this whole hullabaloo?

Not exactly trolling, but...

2011-04-18T23:02:00.001+08:00

A joke is a very serious thing?

I'm just giving a bit of flavour for my next post (which will come in a few more days - I've became busy of all a sudden). Worry not, for it's not going to be as silly as this one (I think...).

In the meanwhile, enjoy some fanworks off the new Touhou series:

The rapidity... it's amazing

Also, what's up with Blogger resizing my image? Made me to link that one big pic up in photobucket, it did...

Well this is a surprise...

2011-04-16T00:25:00.001+08:00

Apparently the demo for Touhou 13, Ten Desires, can be obtained at this website.

I would've played it straightaway, if it's not for my shitty internet that doesn't allow me to download it at all hurrrr. Anyone have tried their hands on this yet?

EDIT: The demo could be downloaded through a mirror via mediafire.

In the meantime, have some screenshot as posted by a certain Touhou fan that I know from FB. Credit goes to him for these:

Some new faces

And old familar one (surprised??)

And yes, I'm very much taking it easy now~

Deadline and test is tomorrow, and I'm surfing the 'net~

2011-04-14T22:28:00.002+08:00

It's the final week of the semester (before study and exam weeks), so I've been burdened with a lot of tests and assignments, which would hopefully be finished once the weekend arrives.

Apologies for not frequenting blogs much (which would include this one haha). I have this one large quasi-discussion/semi-rant/wholly nonsense post that I have been keeping in the backlog for a while, and I might just put it up once my hands aren't tied (I actually have one small test and an assignment due for tomorrow, so back to the chopping board I go...)

To make this not a simple 'I'm still alive, and I'll be back' post, here's a few things that I did recently:

-I started to marathon through the last 8 album by UI-70. Currently at Splendid World, and I'm enjoying it very much. The circle might produce a lot of non-memorable works, but this is their best so far. Stoner rock/doom metal Touhou arrangements, hell yeah!

UI-70, this changed my opinion about you guys

-I'm re-reading Carl Sagan's Cosmos, one of the very few non-fiction book that I enjoyed. I actually found it rather tedious to read it on the first go (which was about a year ago), but I grew to love it over subsequent readings. RIP Sagan, you'll be missed.

-Finish watching Hourou Musuko, which is perhaps one of the least popular series of Winter. It's not too bad I guess, if you're into slow-paced story about school kids growing up, with the underlying message of gender reversal (or would it be better phrased as 'confusion'?). I didn't feel much after watching the series - maybe because it isn't as bold as I expected it to be? Or maybe it has something to do with the slow pace. Anyway, I wouldn't recommend it to other people, although I'm not in anyway implying that it's bad. It's just not something that everyone would find interesting, I guess.

A most apt screenshot

Anyway, here's random question for you Touhou fans out there:

Which one of these two music do you prefer more?
-Faiths is for the Transient People
-The Venerable Ancient Battlefield ~ Suwa Foughten Field

Also, because I'm feeling random, here's a pic of Nue:

Take it easy everyone - I'll try to do so soon~

One reason why you might want to buy an airline ticket to Japan for this May

2011-04-03T00:00:00.002+08:00

OK, make that two.

Applicable to Touhoufags only:

1) Glorious Reitaisai: Just... Reitaisai (I don't think I need to elaborate on this)

2) Flowering Night 2011: Rock out the night with those Touhou songs!

According to the tentative, Reitaisai will be held on May 8, and Flowering Night during the 14th and 15th.

I'm not up to date with all the circles who are releasing their stuff for Reitaisai (although I am of course eager for Ten Desires), but I've gone through the performing circles for FN. And speaking of FN, they make it a two night event this time - to cover up last year's absence, huh?

Out of the list of circles to appear for this event, I'm excited to see that Buta Otome is performing. I haven't heard much of the stuff from the other circles tho (which I plan to do so some time later: e.g. Kishida Kyoudan & The Akeboshi Rockets, Sekken-ya), and there's a few names which I haven't come across before.

I'm kinda disappointed that CROW'SCLAW won't be rocking at the stage this year. I was expecting to hear them performing their stuff from Over The Rainbow... or, heck, maybe even something off From The Bottom Of The Heart. After their last performance at FN 2009, and the absence of FN 2010, I'm itching to see them on stage again. Well, it can't be helped...

I'll still be looking forward to these events (even if I don't have the monies to head over the land of the rising sun; and nevermind the fact that my nippon-go skill isn't too good either).

Yeah, this is a bit slow (I know about Reitaisai change of date for a while, but I just found out about this year's Flowering Night)... but, who cares~

A day out at a meido kafe

2011-03-31T23:00:00.003+08:00

I'm currently in those very busy weeks - the one so busy that I don't have time to take it easy, much less to write anything here (I apologize for not dropping much at other blogs too). So... have this rather old 'MY BLOG' stuff while I rush off to finish some other things?

The day when mukyu~ meets JAOOOOOOO

Sometime 2 weeks ago, I had a little meetup with this one guy that I met in CF. It was school holiday for him, he wanted to do a little meetup with some Touhou peeps, and so it was decided that there's no other suitable place than this one maid cafe near the vicinity.

Unfortunately, most of the Touhou people were either too occupied with something else during that day, or they could not be contacted. So in the end, it was down to the two of us.

Self explanatory

I actually arrived quite earlier than the agreed time, so I kept on pacing around the train station for a few good minutes. And then, just as I was leaving, I thought I caught a glimpse of the person in question. Or is it him? I don't think he notices that I'm there... so I'll go ahead and just wait and the bus station then.

...and, as it turns out, it is indeed the man himself. After the initial greeting (and me commenting on how I'm a bit not used to doing meetup of this kind... well, sorta), we gotten straight away into business: discussing on new stuff on Touhou, some anime series, the recent earthquake in Japan. You know, the usual stuff. And the same process goes on all the way until we reached the cafe.

I'll just say something about maid cafe: personally, I'm not too crazy about them, so really, I wasn't expecting much out of this one.

And how did this maid cafe fair, with this being my first try? For one thing, the interior is certainly bigger than what I envisioned it to be based from the outside view. Upon entering, you would spot these glass shelves that are filled with all glorious figurines and nendos (...I wish I had more monies ;_;), and on some of the tables nearby, magazines and illustration book from Japan. There is a TV there as well, which was showing FMP Fumoffu at that time (although it appears that you could play some PS3 games there as well).

There was only one or two occupied table, so getting a spot was not a trouble at all. I think I'll just skip about the rest of our dining experience, since there isn't really much to tell about them to be honest.

Tho you might be interested to know that these foods

are surprisingly expensive (if you wanna compare them with similar food outside, I mean). But hey, it's not like people come to this place for the sake of eating, right?

I don't think I'd come to this place again on my own, as it just isn't as fun: I'm not that social enough to come here to chat away with the maids, nor I'm ready to fork some money for this kind of atmosphere. I'm not in any way saying the place is bad or anything, it's just that it's all a bit - do I dare to use the word? - bourgeois for me.

Returning on what we did for the rest of the day: it was spend with us (for most of the part, the other guy) talking with this one maid, on various topic that ranges from Vocaloid, Touhou, certain type of animes, artworks, and to a point, on demons, souls, and all that supernatural stuff. I think there is something interesting to see having a good knowledge on the latter topics. So yeah, that maid's real cool, which would explain why we didn't do anything else much.

It didn't turn out to be much of a Touhou meetup as we envisioned - we didn't played a round of Soku as originally planned - but then again there is so much two Touhoufags (with different personality) could achieve in one meeting. It was still a good day, even if we had certain problems near the end (sorry man, but the next time we meet, let's go and transfer more anime alright?)

Did I mention about us discussing about the possibility of cosplaying in some future events? I don't think I'll ever get to be serious in cosplaying as some other people, although I'm not against doing maybe for an event or two - just for the heck of it. Ohh yes, how weaboo I am...

Anyone who has been to the cafe would know of the rule of not being able to take photos inside the place. However, there are certain exceptions; so here we go, some of the (permitted... I think) photos of the cafe:

I'd post a few pictures of us... but it's too lolwtf to be placed here hahaha.

The price is so high that it'll make your heart drop~

Motto Loveressive & Concerto of the Scarlet Elements

2011-03-24T18:19:00.002+08:00

So... even with Reitaisai 8 being cancelled, we still get some CDs being released by some circles (by the way, from what I heard, the event is being forwarded to 8th of May. I wonder if Kami no Pocky will go to Japan again this time around - do you plan to do so?)

I've only found 2 Reitaisai album on the interweb so far. I don't know about the other releases; maybe I should search for the rest later.

(you can get the album for free from their website by the way)

I haven't heard of any stuff from SYNC.ART'S for a while now, so I've forgotten about most of their other stuff (I still remember about their cover of Extend Ash and Capital City of Flower in the Sky tho). They have a nice mix of rock and electronica to go along with the vocals, and I am quite contended with these kind of music (the second one I mean) as far as vocal arrangements are concerned.

My favourite track off the album would be the arrangement of Deaf To All But The Song! (a track which I don't hear much cover of it by the way), which is hardly surprising when you look how it's a rock arrangement. The cover for The Doll Maker of Bucuresti would be next (a good slower-paced song). For faster (and more pop flavoured) tracks, there's the one for Love Coloured Master Spark and Phantom Ensemble (complete with some slightly cute vocals thrown in for good measure too).

And then there's the cover for Beloved Tomboyish Daughter too, which I think is just ok. The last part after the singing stop, though, is just... so Cirno.

And so, following the last album's trend, we now get vocals in the album. With this, I wonder if we're going to see the same thing for the next album?

Vocal tracks: for Iron Chino's track, I'd say that it's not too bad. I don't know what the style is called - quite similar to The Stahl's style... I guess you'd call it opera metal? - and it wasn't something I expected from Iron (I was thinking something like the one for Phantom Ensemble in the last album actually). Still, as far as a cover of Voile, The Magic Library goes, this is quite good.

The Stahl's track is all right I guess; he wasn't doing that screaming thing like what he did in the last album, so that's good enough for me. I don't know if it's just my untrained ear, but I don't hear too much of The Young Descendent of Tepes here (or at least, that one certain part). But... it has a keyboard solo to go along with the guitar solo, so yeah!

Instrumental tracks: you don't see much of the more popular songs (no Septette For The Dead Princess or U.N. Owen Was Her? aww...). Well, I guess it's because those are already there in Vampire Concerto and all... but still, why isn't Lunate Elf included? I understand Beloved Tomboyish Daughter might be a bit out of place with the other 'darker' songs... but would Lunate Elf be considered the same, I wonder?

The cover of Apparitions Stalks The Night doesn't disappoint - I was actually wondering some time ago of whether Iron ever going to do a cover of this theme. Luna Dial's cover isn't too bad either.

And for the rest of the tracks (which aren't that many)... just give them a listen to the Touhou Neo-Classical Metal goodness (I think that's what the sound is called), will ya?

While we're on this topic, I'd like to mention a thought I had the other day:

When I get myself some monies and all, I'd probably spend only a bit of it for figurines/plushies - I'm actually more interested in getting all those CDs, and if I could find good ones, art books of Touhou. I still have a spot for girly toys and everything, but I like to show how artsy I am once in a while (even when I'm not actually all that sophisticated, heheh).

I feel slightly guilty listening to all those wonderful arrangement which I easily download off the 'net (in bulks, even). One of these day, I'll be buying all those CDs instead of being a cheap (and of course, poor) fan.

...'course, I gotta get myself a job first. Alas!

Happi birthdesu, kisama~

2011-03-17T07:29:00.004+08:00

Damn I love this show

Although it was actually 2 days ago if you wanna know (yesterday if you're on the western part of the world). I was too busy and tired to post anything here for the event (well, not that anything interesting happened anyway).

I'm not telling ya my age, but I'll just give a hint: I'm still at a good(?) age of 20-something.

This doesn't happen exactly during my birthday, but close enough

Anyway, a bit of self analysis while we're at it? (hoo boy, here we go...)

I might have pointed out at one point or another that I'm a sort-of reclusive, so meeting up with people can get sort of awkward (well, not by much... but still). That much is something that I'm quite aware of.

Now I realized a few more things: one, I'm different from the different (i.e. I'm on borderline from the 'normal' and the, uhh 'others'); two, I'm not much of a conversationalist, appearing as a silent listener (using the word 'analyzer' would be a bit of a stretch); and lastly, I'm actually quite emotional, even if I give of the appearance of being apathetic (actually, the last point isn't really relevant to what I'm pointing out just now, but I just thought that I'd mention that here).

Should I really be bothered with these? I guess I shouldn't, and I'M the one who should accept this fact in the first place, since... if I couldn't, no one else will, right?

I'm reminded of this one guy's saying that 'everyone judges each other'. I wonder how many people actually pass judgement on themselves...

Well, enough with all this personal talking; gotta chin up and take it like a man, yeah?

Onwards, dude! Taking it easy, as usual~

Where's the funny?

2011-03-13T22:42:00.001+08:00

Seriously.

I don't get how this guy can find the whole thing something which he could make a joke about. Insensitive apathetic idiot much, huh?

And apparently this whole thing is picked up by some page on the interwebs too. Oh boy...

EDIT: well, they apologized (in Bahasa Malaysia by the way) over the issue and all, but still.

Ocean falls, and mountain drifts

2011-03-12T07:00:00.005+08:00

I'm not exactly too enthusiastic after hearing of the recent 8.9 Magnitude earthquake that just hit Japan very recently. Earthquakes - and actually many other natural disasters - always makes me feeling all depressed. The thought of me sitting here all safe and dry, whereas scores of peoples in a distant (or not so distant) country never fails to get me feeling all down. Yes, that might be silly and all, but that's just the way I feel.

I'm now feeling more depressed than my usual depressed-self, considering how in the face of these natural disasters, there is absolutely nothing that can be done about it (well, there is of course prediction, but that doesn't change the fact that said disaster still takes place).

Anyway, here's something a bit personal: I've (indirectly) felt two earthquake through my very-short lifetime: one is of course the infamous 2004 Sumatra earthquake. I can still remember how my dad had mentioned when she returned home from work on that day, and how he felt the building experiencing some slight shaking. I didn't really thought of it much - I was clearly in a more carefree ignorant period at that time - that is, until the news came in later on that day. I had known of earthquake and tsunamis before then, but I have never expected for the tidal waves to occur so close to our shores.

I've received a taste of earthquake again 5 years later in the year 2009, this time taking place in Java. Unlike the last earthquake, I've actually felt the effect of this one: a shaking of my chair, as if someone was pulling the legs. And of course, we were pretty much unaffected by this earthquake, but the same couldn't be said for the victims in our neighbouring country.

For geologists, earthquake are pretty much time-bombs that are waiting to explode - they could pretty much point out the possible location where the next 'quake might strike, but can NEVER say with any certainty when it will take place, and how large the extent of damage would be. It's a pretty difficult task, that I sometimes pity the seismologists when people start complaining why in the world they didn't warn beforehand about that large incoming earthquake.

Anyway, this very recent earthquake makes me even more depress when I remember the nickname that a certain geologist had coined for Tokyo: the city waiting to die. The reason being is that it sits on the junction of not two, but three tectonic plates:

I suppose the question is not 'what if', but rather, 'when'. I always wondered how the people there could go on with their lives, hoping that the next earthquake would occur not now, not tomorrow, but some time in the far distant future...

Anyone interested in this subject could do no wrong than to watch Tokyo Magnitude 8.0. Let's sit down and ponder on the extent of the earthquake when it eventually strikes the city (but when is something which no one can answer).

Am I biased for this earthquake, since it occur in Japan, home of all things sugoi desu? Do I not give a flying leap to other not very major earthquakes in some countries which I don't really have too much knowledge about? I have no idea to be honest, although like I've said earlier, these kind things never fail to make me depressed.

Still, despite all that nature have thrown to us, life goes on for the rest of us powerless humans...

For some reason, this song came to mind

I was actually saving a post about some ranting on Touhou, but the news of the earthquake had put me off from posting it here. Well, whenever I'm in the mood for it, I'll put it up here alright?

One of the most original Touhou arrangement that I've seen

2011-03-05T23:22:00.000+08:00

I wasn't too much interested during the intro, but when the song starts... I was literally going :O

I don't usually post something on a whim like this, but this is too good to pass. The thing is, this look quite spiritual and solemn too, what's with the ritual and all. I wonder if that is actually the case (it's Buddhism, right?)

This is awesome, still.

A bit of update on Reitaisai's arrangement albums

2011-03-05T01:12:00.002+08:00

I just browsed through the wiki page to add more circles to my to-listen-to list, and I am excited to see this:

Patchyyyyy ♥

It appears that it's going to be a 100% EoSD arrangement album, and the man himself, IRON-CHINO will lend his voice for an arrangement of Voile. This should be interesting; I wonder how he will tackle the song, which I don't hear too much vocal arrangements of it (and I don't think I've heard a male vocal for Voile before too). I'm not really expecting much from The Stahl tho - I only liked Rain In Vain out of the vocal tracks that he did for IRON ATTACK!.

(EDIT: How come Lunate Elf or Beloved Tomboyish Daughter arrangement is not there? D: )

Other than IRON ATTACK!, UI-70, C-CLAYS, THOUSAND LEAVES and Pizuya's Cell are also releasing an album (in the case of C-CLAYS, 2) for Reitaisai 8. I haven't listened that many arrangements from the last two circles... so this is all the more reason for me to do so, yeah?

In another news, apparently Barrage Am Ring is coming with another CD, this time a collaboration between CROW'SCLAW and Pizuya's Cell. I didn't really like the first BAR album on my first few listening, but I love them now. I'm looking forward to what kind of arrangements they'll do in this one.

Any other Touhou metalheads who are looking forward to these releases as well?

On a completely unrelated note, I've been catching up on Madoka today. I haven't watched too much of the other series of the season, but this is set to be my favourite out of the list so far. And now I'm tempted to check other work by Shaft too (I think I've only watched 2 or 3 of the series at the moment).

I can now see where all the hating of Kyubey is coming from too. It kinda surprises me how that :3 faced thing could be so hated haha.

Global Battle Of The Band (and Touhou music thingie)

2011-03-01T22:25:00.001+08:00

A few days ago, I went to perhaps my first concert (the ones that they do in uni/public place doesn't really count). And I must say that it was quite exciting - I certainly wouldn't mind going to these kind of events any time in the future. If they are good concerts, I mean.

Pretentious hipsters event much? Hell I dunno, but at least the bands are not the pretty-faced boybands with sucky songs and pretentious fans, heh.

Me on the center

Unfortunately, this is the only picture I have regarding the event, as I had absentmindedly left my camera behind (I only thought of bringing my camera after I have arrived at the venue). Hence, I'm just gonna list down some of my favourite bands based from what my memory could recall (you might want to check out this website if you felt like checking out what the whole hullabaloo is all about):

Salvador

Definitely the best band of the night, hands down (well OK, they gotten second place, but still). The bass is fierce - they did some crazy slap and pop, which I didn't know could go so well with metal songs - and the vocals and the rest of the instruments are just as aggressive. Also, the bassist uses a Firebird Gibson, which I did not see other bands using it. The guitar looked pretty strange as well - it looked as if it was modified from an acoustic guitar (but in no way sounding like one). Too bad I couldn't find more song from their page; I'd listen to more their other songs, even when they're all sung in Russian.

White Walls

This metal group performed way before Salvador, so I might be a bit bias to prefer the latter (blame my short-attention spam). Their music might not be as aggressive as Salvador, but the vocal sure is (they are leaning more towards screaming, which is never a bad thing in metal). They're also the first band of the night to really get me riled up too.

Magua

Now this group is certainly something - I guess you could say they're more of the experimental-progressive-alternative-whatever you want to call it rock, where the frontman takes the role of vocalist, bassist, and harmonica player - all while appearing on stage with a green facepaint ala Hulk. The bass was producing some pretty weird and funny sound, that half of the time I was figuring out if there was a keyboardist somewhere (there isn't, by the way). Still, the band may perhaps a bit too experimental - the songs does sound like they're a bit too long and repetitive sometimes, and there's the issue with the language as well (they're from Ukraine).

Experienced

The band with the most attitude would definitely be this band. They look more like they belong in punk rock, although they have some pretty surprising slow songs (which they didn't perform on the night, actually). Having said that, one of their tracks is so silly that I don't know what to make out of it: Fat Girls Burn In Hell (...yeap)

Shenaniganz

Well, I headbang a lot to this band compared with the others. And that's all there is that I could mention on this band, really - their music is good and all, but they don't leave me with much impact afterwards.

Also, during the same day, my handphone was stolen RIGHT under my nose. You could guess how RAGEEEEEE I was at the time.

...I could post a wall of text damning the bastard, but well, it's not as if it's gonna change anything right?

Misfortune, misfortune everywhere~

After reading a recent post by another blogger, I thought I'd put up the list of my favourite Touhou music as well (excluding the ones in the audio CDs and the other games, since I don't listen/play them as much):

Stage 1: Illusionary Night ~ Ghostly Eyes
Stage 1 Boss: A Tiny, Tiny, Clever Commander
Stage 2: The Road Of The Apotropaic God ~ Dark Road
Stage 2 Boss: Beware The Umbrella Left There Forever
Stage 3: The Gensokyo The Gods Loved
Stage 3 Boss: Plain Asia
Stage 4: Fall Of Fall ~ Autumnal Waterfall
Stage 4 Boss: Love-colored Master Spark
Stage 5: The Maid And The Pocket Watch Of Blood
Stage 5 Boss: Lunar Clock ~ Luna Dial
Stage 6: The Young Descendant Of Tepes
Stage 6 Boss: Septette For The Dead Princess
EX Stage: Extend Ash ~ Hourai Victim
EX Stage Boss: Heian Alien

Next post will probably be something Touhou related - it'll be up when I'm not so swamped with work. I'm actually in a sort of a mental block too, so further posts might be slower than usual. Ehh I dunno. Take it easy everyone~

Deaf to all but the (Touhou) Song!

2011-02-24T23:36:00.002+08:00

I've been meaning to post this for a long time, but I kinda forgotten all about it until just now.

So, lately I've been listening to pretty much Touhou arrangement, listening to practically nothing else (well, nothing new anyway - besides the arrangements, I've been going through some older stuff that I've kept in my hard disc as well).

And when it comes to Touhou arrangement - as with the other music that I listen to - I have a rather unsophisticated taste, which you would see in a short while:

My favourite type of Touhou arrangements would, without a doubt, be the metal/rock arrangements. The circles that do these arrangement that I listen to extensively would be CROW'SCLAW, ~xi-on~, Iron Attack!, and Unlucky Morpheus.

I've only started to listen to demetori and UI-70, and I'm pretty impressed with what I hear so far. There are other circles that I listen to a few of their albums (C-CLAYS, MyonMyon, Magnum Opus) although I haven't checked beyond their first few albums (they're still sitting in my backlog at the moment).

But, here's a thing: I do have a bit of complaint about some of the arrangements.

One of the thing that I'd nitpick on the circles that do these kind of covers - despite me having an affinity for the genre - is... a few type of arrangement done by circles of this genre. I don't really mind the long guitar solo or anything - what do you expect from these kind of arrangements in the first place? - but some of the electronic-like sound that is placed by some of the circles doesn't sit too well with me.

I don't really know how to further elaborate on that, so let me give you some examples instead:

So what is it about these two arrangements that I don't quite like? Maybe it's the synthesizer, but I can't really say for sure. I mean, if you wanted to say that it's the guitar, they're not too different from the other circles that I listen to. It's not to say that I don't like the other arrangements by these two circles (I have listened to a few of their albums), but it's only these kind of arrangement that I don't find too interesting.

Anyway, the rambling aside, metal/rock arrangements are the best, YEAHHHHHHHHH!

I have a shitty taste in music, I know

When I'm not into metal/rock, and feeling a bit sophisticated (but not much), Touhou vocal arrangement is the next best kind of arrangements to me. Yellow Zebra, SYNC.ART'S and TaNaBaTa are up there in my list when it comes to this type of arrangement. I just started listening to Buta Otome and forestpireo at the moment; the second circle is just all right - I'd still check their later albums - but I'm expecting more good stuff from Buta Otome.

And of course, you can't forget the famous names such as IOSYS, Silver Forest and Sound Holic, although I don't actually check too much of their works (especially Silver Forest - I have only 2 albums off them).

Vocal arrangements are kinda tricky - since my knowledge of Nippon-go is very small, I'd rely on the voices, rather than the lyrics themselves.

I'm not usually too fussy about the music, but for some reason, I don't quite like vocals that go along techno or electronic music (especially the dance music; see the above example) - I prefer it when the vocals are not overwhelmed by the music, I guess. Also, I don't really mind if the vocal is cute or anything, although I actually prefer the more mature vocals (I'm talking about the the female singers by the way - not that I've heard too much male Touhou vocals in the first place...)

I think it's quite funny to see me listening to a metal arrangement at one moment, and switching to some cute girl's singing on the next. Yeah I'm a faggot hahaha

So, with all that is being said: to those who have extensively listened to Touhou arrangements, any similar circles to the one being mentioned up there in my list which you would recommend?

Or, come to that, does anyone have any other good circles that do Touhou arrangements which I should check out? They don't necessarily have to fit the rock/metal and vocal arrangement - as long as they're good, I'm all ears.

Right now, I'm itching to fill up my hard disc with more Touhou music - drop some suggestions in the comment section if you have some~

Shitposting for a bit

2011-02-19T00:36:00.002+08:00

I saw this on a fagbook, and I thought that it was just full of lul:

Check out the 3rd comment (and his other comments as well)

Honestly, the comments on the page made me to both laugh and facepalm at the same time. Anyone can talk big, but I wonder if they're as tough as they sound. So much for internet mobs eh...

I have just finished watching Toradora and Detroit Metal City, after putting them on the backlog for so long.

Toradora turns out quite good, better than what I expected. Looking at Taiga, and the apparently abundance of tsundere nowadays, I would certainly agree with one dude when he said that tsundere nowadays are starting to get pretty old.

As for DMC... I didn't know at first that Studio 4C was behind the series in the first place; I guess that would explain the slightly odd animation style. It's a pretty cool series - tho it might be a bit on the no-brainer side - but I think I prefer the movie version (the song sounds better there, methinks). Also, I think Krauser-san in the movie is more constrained, which can be a good or a bad thing, depending on your preference. I'd say the movie is certainly more toned down compared with the series.

Alright, time to get back to them backlogs. Sorry for not posting anything of significant content this time ahaha.

Here, have a ridiculously cute drawing of Krauser (Krauser-tan? lol)

ZUN speaks

2011-02-16T14:47:00.001+08:00

I'm sure by now most people are aware of the announce by ZUN on his blog about new guidelines for derived Touhou work (or, if you can't read moonrunes, you might have read it from here)

EDIT: After reading more comments on the issue, I am further in agreement that the western fanbase can be quite terrible at times (or would you say most of the time?). I'll be honest guys, sometimes the fans do get on my nerves...

Based on what I'm hearing from a few people that I know, they are making a fuss about the possibility that the commercial works (e.g. plushies, figures) would be completely restricted - and not mentioning about the other details of the new guidelines - but is that really the case? Because the closest that I could find mentioning on those are:

　企業でグッズを販売する場合は、許可が必要です。
You need my permission to sell commercial goods.

　東方の二次創作や二次使用についての問い合わせについては、
　現在友人に受付窓口を協力してもらっています。
A friend of mine has graciously offered to serve as the point of
contact for inquiries about works derived from Touhou.

and

　＊また、企業グッズで性的表現（性的表現のある抱き枕など）のあるものはご遠慮ください。
In addition, please refrain from making commercial goods of a sexualized
nature (such as dakimakura covers with sexual imagery).

It seems to me that in the announcement, ZUN is focusing more on the restriction for the animation and adult doujins. If my assumption is correct, I'd say the issues that concerns ZUN would be:

-Touhou becoming a commercial anime series
-The series come to be known as some lewd series with a lot of questionable contents

About the second point - I don't think it has reached to that point here, but I know of a western Touhou fan who wasn't too happy on how some people thought Touhou is a series full of lolicons and perverts. Heck, even she thought it was that way before she was actually into the series!

(those who frequent Danbooru know too well of the point being mentioned above... eh, guys?)

Of course, you could say that she is exaggerating things... but knowing the masses, I wouldn't be surprised if some of the fans actually view Touhou as nothing more than that. Who knows? Not me, that's for sure.

Regardless of the reasoning, I don't think the effects of the new guidelines would be as disastrous as some have made it to be. Maybe it'd be slightly harder for the oversea fans to get the doujins, but I don't know for sure since I'm not too familiar with how the doujin channels work. But I'd say that ol' ZUN still wish for Touhou to remain as doujin works, rather than being transformed into a commercial product.

I'll just end this short rambling with one guy's comment on this announcement:

"If Touhou were to become commercialized, all those conformists would just come in and ruin it. Look at what happened to games and anime that become mainstream."

Take it easy, Touhou dudes and dudettes~

That Reimu plushie

2011-02-15T21:43:00.002+08:00

Happy v-day to those who celebrated it~

As for me, I was too busy with uni to do anything for the day. Well, not that I really celebrate it in the first place anyway haha.

Anyway, remember that I mentioned on my plan on purchasing some girly toys, and how I found one that I'm interested in? Well, the plushie in question is a Reimu plushie that is released by Gift.

The first thing about the plushie in question is that it is big... BUT I don't think it's the 30,000 yen one, which reach up to a whooping 70 cm height. From what I remembered, the plushie reach only from my fingertip to slightly further than my elbow - I estimated it to be about 40 - 50 cm in length. So it's definitely not the other Reimu plushie released by Gift either, because that one is smaller than this one.

The price of the said plushie is about 3,000 yen, give or take. So... anyone know anything about the plushie in question? I'm kinda suspicious about the pricing, but heck, even if it's a bootleg version, it certainly looks tempting.

Here's a pic of a Marisa plushie that was sold along with the Reimu plushie. I'm sure the guy won't be too hot on seeing his face posted here... so, yeah:

Rileklah Marisa~

See, it certainly is big, but not as big as the extremely expensive and big Reimu plushie up there, right?

So... to get or not get?

The Catcher In The Rye

2011-02-14T00:33:00.000+08:00

I'm sure many of you have read this book already:

What a beat up book...

I've had this book from way back in 2007... and I must have been reading it for like the twelfth time or something (I just finished rereading it this Saturday). It is perhaps one of the few books that I've read more than once (others would include Neil Gaiman's American Gods, and a few or Terry Pratchett's Discworld books), although you could argue that I haven't read that many books in the first place anyway hahaha.

Speaking of books, I read quite little (fiction) books - most of my stuff are leaning more towards the nonfiction ones, see. Speaking of which, the last fiction book - besides The Catcher In The Rye - that I read was Charles Dickens' Oliver Twist (I couldn't finish it actually, and I don't know if I'll get around to do so - sorry Dickens, but the story is just too slow for me). I'm currently looking for more book to read during my idling time - I might head over the library for that (if I'm not too lazy anyway).

I actually found out about the book after I heard it being mentioned along with John Lennon (apparently the guy who shot him had carried the book along with him at the day of murder), as well as Charles Manson. And then, there's the part in Ghost In The Shell: Stand Alone Complex as well. Yeah, I know - talk about secondaries, huh?

That one quote

In case you haven't read the book, it's about this one guy, Holden Caulfield, who had just got kicked out from his school. The rest of the book show how he views the people and the environment around him, in this rather jaded, angry and dissatisfied point of view.

I like this book a lot, mostly because I can relate a lot with what he's been through. You know, about being disassociated from cliques and groupies, depression, a feeling of dissatisfaction with practically everyone (yeah, I have negative tendency, I'll give you that). Anyway, Holden sounds like the type of guy I'd invite over for a drink to talk about life and shit, only that he certainly would find me boring or something. Or I might be seen to him as one of those 'phonies': for some reason I can't imagine him agreeing with me on some of my past time activities - but if so, screw him.

Someone who had read the book commented that Holden's a real negative person. It is as if he hates everyone around him - which, as you'd find near the end of the book, he disproved by mentioning that he hates only a certain part of people. I guess that's true (about him hating everyone around him), since you'd be hard pressed to find any character in the book which he doesn't mention at least a bit of their bad sides (except maybe for his late brother, Allie).

Looking at his negative point of view, I couldn't help but relate it with everyone else who act in this way (I guess you could include myself as one). I wonder if there is any reason for them to be looking at everything with dark-tinted glasses in the first place, or if it's something they pick up as they grow up? Going through the book, it seems that there isn't much in Holden's past that could shape him up to be who he is - no abused childhood, nasty parents, those kind of things. Maybe it's just an inherent property of his at work, I dunno.

There's one thing I keep wondering about this book: apparently this book is considered one of those books that teens read as a sort-of rite of passage, see? As in, the book is widely read among this group, right?

Well, if that is the case indeed... then how come we still get a lot of jerks out there? The phonies, wannabes, bullies, idiots, those bad bunches. Are we to assume they haven't read this book, or if they did, they just take the whole book as a typical emoing kid 'I hate everyone and I wish they die' point of view?

Maybe they consider what they're doing as 'normal', and those that don't conform with them are immediately treated as an outcast, as what happened to our dear Holden. Really, if you want to look at it one way, you can't really blame him for having a jaded point of view of the people around him.

But you could argue that you'd be dead tired trying to go against the flow of thought all the time, and you would have to compromise once in a while... I'm sure a lot of us have been through this before (or may still be going through it?)

Speaking about those teens, I think I understand why Salinger decided to isolate himself after this book was published. I could imagine him being somewhat of a Holden Caulfield, getting sick and tired of meeting all the phonies and terrible people he himself had highlighted in the book, all coming up to him and saying a thousand generic and pretentious praising words. Oh boy~

So before I end this rambling post, I have this one cool story to share, one that is somewhat related to the book:

During pre-uni level study, I was in the same room with this one guy, who was somewhat a jerk (he smokes a lot in the room, he beat people, and just like to cause hell), but he's quite alright I guess, since he taught me to take it easy and not be too serious with my studies and all (what that meant was that I shouldn't be too nerdy and all). During the first semester finals, his result wasn't too hot - so it wasn't long before they announced that he had been kicked out of college. He didn't seem too bothered about it - you could even say that he saw the whole thing coming, even.

And then, at one point before he left, he told us his crazy idea of working part time in some shops, and then changing his identity card so that his parents won't be able to find him and all. And you know what I thought when I heard that? Yeap, that's right: "this sounds all too familiar..." Hell, I was even tempted to hand him a copy of The Catcher In The Rye, so he can know how he isn't exactly alone on the matter and all that.

But of course, as with Holden, his parents eventually found out that he got the ax, and he was then sent over to another college. And that is the end of the story~